Defining Rogue
by Dirt Road Darlin
Summary: Rogue comes to realize a few things about herself and Logan around the same time that Jean "comes back from the dead".
1. Chapter 1

Fanfic: Xmen - Defining Rogue (Wolverine/Rogue) - Complete

Angst, Complete, Fanfic, Fic, Friendship, Hope, Logan, Loss, Love, Marie, Multi-Chapter, Rogan, Rogue, Wolverine, Xmen

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**SUMMARY:**  
Rogue comes to realize a few things about herself and Logan around the same time that Jean "comes back from the dead".

**STORY NOTES:**  
Originally written on Feb 12, 2011.

This takes place in the middle of Xmen 3, so as I'm sure you've guessed, I've made some changes.

**: - - - : - - - - : - x - : - - - - : - - - :** indicates a scene break  
**- - : ~ * ~ : - -** will appear before and after any flashbacks.  
All flashbacks and/or inner thoughts are in _italics_.

**DISCLAIMER:**  
This fanfic has been written purely for entertainment value, with no money being made from this work. All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners with no copyright infringement intended. The original characters/places/plot/etc. are the sole property of the author. Thank you.

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… **DEFINING ROGUE …**

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**= Xavier's School For Gifted Youngsters =**  
**= Westchester, New York =**

Rogue stepped out of the shower and wrapped a large towel around her body, tucking one corner between her breasts to keep it in place. A moment later she was leaning over the sink and wiping the condensation from the bathroom mirror, listening to the squeak that followed the movement of her hand. Once she was able to see, she stood silent, just staring at the woman peering back out at her. She couldn't seem to control the sigh that escaped her lips.

She had changed a lot in the few years that she had been at the school. Baby fat, childhood dreams and innocent eyes were long since gone. In their place, she now had a fuller body, lost dreams and eyes (along with a mind) that had seen far too much to have any innocence still living in them. Again, she sighed.

Glancing once to make sure the bathroom door was still locked, she un-tucked the terry cloth towel and let it slide down her body and fall in a heap at her feet. This was the only true time that she ever allowed herself to be completely naked. Even in her own bedroom she made sure to always be dressed. Her only solace being found within the confines of a 10x10 room.

Rogue brought her attention back to the mirror and gazed at her now naked flesh. Poison. That's what it was. Oh sure, it was the color of alabaster and smooth as silk, but it was deadly all the same. She might as well have a skull and cross bones tattooed on her head, because she was pretty sure that's what everyone saw when they looked at her anyway.

No one saw a woman who had so much love to give that she would do just about anything to have it. No, no one saw that. Not. A. Single. Damn. Person. And, it broke her heart.

Another sigh.

She would give Bobby credit though. At least he had _tried_ to see beyond the whole untouchable skin thing. But, how long was he expected to have a girlfriend he couldn't even hold hands with unless she was covered in some sort of fabric?

He didn't kiss her (and hadn't even tried since that day in his bedroom in Boston) and he definitely couldn't make love to her. There were never words of devotion spoken between them, so they weren't really a couple were they? If you can't do any of the things that make you "something more", you're really just "something less" aren't you?

"It wouldn't have been _love_ anyway," she said aloud. She knew that now.

If she were honest, she had known it all along. But, it was confirmed to her two nights ago and then again tonight when she had peered out that window at Bobby and Kitty ice-skating on the pond.

Bobby's "something more" was standing in front of him. His "more" had taken his hand willingly when he offered it to her at the Professor's memorial service. And Kitty, unlike herself, didn't have to have a barrier between them to keep him safe.

Even now, his heart had led him to comfort Kitty instead of his "girlfriend". That spoke volumes. Heck, even a blind person could see what was going on, and Rogue's vision was 20/20.

But, Bobby wasn't her "something more" either. No, her "more" slept one door down and pined away for a redhead that had killed the Professor and more than likely, Scott as well. She hated Jean for that. She hated her with everything she had and it went much further and deeper than what she had done to the Professor. No, it's what she had done _with_ Logan that had brought such fury from Rogue. Fury and pain. She wasn't quite sure which one outweighed the other. All Rogue knew was that both emotions were thriving inside her now.

She hadn't mentioned to anyone what she had witnessed that night. What would have been the point? It was _her own fault_ really, for wanting to seek Logan out to make sure he was okay. It was _her fault_ that she had decided to check the med lab to see if her were there when she should have just went back to her room. And, it was _her fault_ that she hadn't been able to tear her eyes away from the man that she loved, on the verge of making love to Jean (instead of her). The two had been so wrapped up in each other they never knew she was there, much less even existed. Now she wondered if Logan had ever known she existed, at least as anything more than a "kid".

She once had the misfortune of being on the opposite end of those claws of his, but even that could not compare to the pain she felt now. She was certain that whatever had been left of "Marie" had died that night.

"No more," she whispered before slipping her clothes on and exiting the bathroom.

Rogue paced in her room now as she ran a brush through her damp tresses. She decided against using a blow dryer since it was rather late, choosing instead to just let it dry naturally. She didn't even bother with her normal ponytail, instead leaving the locks down, tucking a few stray strands of platinum behind her ear.

Sitting down on the edge of her bed, Rogue slipped a pair of socks on her bare feet before sliding them into her favorite pair of boots. Logan had bought them for her, she reminded herself, and almost kicked them off in favor of something else. But, she loved those boots, so she gave in to her sentimental side… just this once.

She moved to her desk then, glancing down at the piece of paper she had scribbled on earlier. Not taking the time to read it, she just tucked the paper into her jean pocket before turning to gather her gloves.

Silently, almost hesitantly, Rogue slid the leather over her slender fingers. The familiar feeling almost comforted her. Her green cloak was next, followed shortly by the floral trimmed scarf that Storm had given her a few months earlier. They were her reminders, she decided, of a life she'd had… once.

A few minutes later, bag clinched tightly in her hand, she found herself only inches away from escape, when she heard that familiar voice that made her weak in the knees.

"Need a lift, kid?"

She had stopped, though she had wanted to run so badly. "No," was her simple reply.

The next few minutes were a blur as she tried to keep her emotions in check. She heard his words, heard her own being said back to him, but had no real idea as to what she said. She knew that she told him something about not understanding and he had told her that he did.

"I hope you're not doing this for some boy."

_"This?"_ she wondered briefly before she realized what Logan was implying. He thought she was leaving to take the cure. She didn't answer, but she hadn't been able to look him in the eye either.

"Look, if you want to go… then go. Just be sure it's what you want."

It wasn't, but it was. How did that even make sense? She _wanted him_ to _want her_. So, she asked him if he shouldn't be telling her to stay, praying that he would tell her what she so longed to hear. But, he didn't.

"I'm not your father, I'm your friend."

Right, how could she have forgotten?

"Just think about what I said, Rogue."

For some reason, that she could not understand, she corrected him. "Marie," she told him, knowing the girl he'd met long ago was gone. But, she wanted to hear that name on his lips just one last time.

"Marie," he whispered, turning then to leave her alone in the hallway.

Slowly, she walked toward the door, even looking back once as she stepped outside, just to see if maybe he would come after her. But, there was nothing, and so she knew for sure then… Logan didn't love her and this was the right thing to do.

"Let 'em be happy," she told herself. "Logan… Bobby… Kitty… they all deserve happiness. Who am I to stand in their way?"

Closing the door, Rogue leaned against it for the longest time, somehow unable to force herself to go any farther. When she finally did move, she reached into her pocket to retrieve the paper she'd tucked in there earlier. Once again, with a heavy heart, she read the words she's written down.

Rogue:  
_-Adjective_  
_No longer obedient, belonging, or accepted and hence not controllable or answerable_

She felt the tears welling up in her eyes then. "Yep, that's me all right," she whispered softly. With that sudden knowledge, she turned and walked away.

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	2. Chapter 2

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… **CHAPTER TWO …**

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_**Two Years Later**_  
**= Gillespie's Grill =**  
**= Keeling, West Virginia =**

Rogue plopped herself down on the first stool at the end of the counter and huffed, blowing a piece of her short, jet black hair up and out of her eyes.

"Ruthie," she said as she swung around and scanned the empty diner for her friend. "I was beginnin' to think this day was never gonna end."

"I'm with ya on that one, child," the older woman told her as she slowly made her way from the back of the room. "Ol' Arthur has worn me out today, and I've gotta hot date with Ben and my bed when I get home!"

"Ruthie!" Rogue half-yelled, as she tried to act appalled by the woman's statement. "Two men in one day?"

"Don't you know it, honey!" Ruthie said as she laughed, swatting Rogue with her hand towel as she walked by her.

"I'm scandalized!"

But, Rogue knew the truth. "Arthur" was what Ruthie called arthritis and "Ben" of course, was Bengay. She wondered then why the 64-year-old woman still worked with the way Rogue knew her body ached, but the question needed no answer. The reason was because of Marcus. He'd died last spring and though the hours were tough on Ruthie's body, it kept her mind busy from thinking about the loss of her husband. By the time the elderly lady left the diner each night, she was too sore and too tuckered out to do much grieving.

"'Sides," Ruthie had told her once, "I have Marcus waiting for me each night when I close my eyes."

Rogue envied that. The thought of looking forward to dreams because they held love and hope. All Rogue's dreams ever held was the promise of pain and loss. To her, "good dreams" were as foreign as fairy tales and happily ever after. But that was okay, because there were people like Ruthie that reminded her every day that it was possible. It was possible to have happiness and in that she took some solace.

It wasn't until Rogue heard the loud jingle of the doorbell that she pulled herself from her thoughts, quickly turning her head to look at the door.

"Miss, we were just closing up," Ruthie had told the red haired lady as she stepped inside the door.

The woman immediately glanced down at her shiny gold watch and then back up at Ruthie and said, "It's 9:57."

"Joyce, my dear," came the voice from behind her, a young man smiling apologetically at Ruthie and Rogue. "We can go somewhere else."

"Carl," she whined. "We are clearly here before closing time, so I think that this waitress should just seat us and take our order." Grabbing the man's hand, she pulled him inside the diner and then turned back to Ruthie. "Don't you?"

"Yes, Miss," Ruthie had whispered in defeat, escorting them to the second booth from the door.

"I prefer a table," Joyce chided as she slipped the coat off her shoulders, handing it to her gentleman friend.

Ruthie nodded and showed them to the table that she had just finished cleaning off a few minutes earlier. "This better, Miss?"

"Yes," she said smugly as she waited for Carl to pull her chair out for her.

"I'll have the special and a Diet Coke. Carl? What do you want?"

Carl, a bright pink to his cheeks, dropped his head down. "I want us to leave. There's no need in bothering these ladies when they're closing up."

"Carl, you were the one that chose this place," Joyce said with annoyance. "So, what do you want to eat?"

With defeat showing in his slouched shoulders, Carl looked at Ruthie and frowned. "I'll have the same… except with a regular Coke."

Ruthie nodded as she wrote the order down and walked toward Rogue, who had her arms outstretched along the counter on either side of her, a look across her pale features that made Ruthie worry.

"Now you just stop that," Ruthie told her as she pulled Rogue up by her sleeve and led her toward the kitchen.

"Ruthie!" Rogue grumbled when they came to a stop by the grill.

"They've got every right to be here, hon."

"Hmph!"

Ruthie couldn't help the grin easing it's way onto her features. "Listen to me. They had three minutes to get here before we closed up. They made it. Who are we to turn them down?"

"We," Rogue began, "are the ones stuck here 'til they're done eatin'! We are the ones who hafta bow down to Miss Prissy Britches out there 'cause she felt like slummin' it tonight."

"Rogue!" Ruthie scolded with a loud whisper.

"What?!" Rogue asked defensively.

"Do unto others," Ruthie reminded her as she turned toward the fridge to get out the hamburger meat.

"She's not followin' that rule," Rogue informed as she slid on a pair of plastic gloves.

"It's not about what they do, hon. It's about what we do."

"Well, what _I'm_ gonna do is spit in her food."

Ruthie almost snorted she laughed so hard, but knew in the end that Rogue would never really do it.

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20 minutes later, Rogue placed two rolls on the tray next to the rest of the order. Just as she was about to ring the bell to let Ruthie know her order was up, Rogue saw her friend leaning against a booth, rubbing her right knee. Shaking her head, she gathered the tray up and headed toward the couple.

Upon reaching them, Rogue placed Carl's food in front of him first and then Joyce's. "Enjoy your dinner," she said as sweetly as she could before making her way back to a stool.

Joyce took one bite before she threw it back down on her plate. "This is slop," she announced, loud enough for both Rogue and Ruthie to hear.

"I think it's great," Carl praised as he took his second bite of meat loaf.

"Great?" Joyce questioned. "Carl, you're such a softy. Don't let these women appeal to your good heart."

"Don't do this," he pleaded, but his reply came in the form of an eye roll as his companion took her diamond-covered hands and pushed her food away from her.

"A pig wouldn't eat this!"

"That does it!" Rogue spouted, tucking a strand of black hair behind her multi-pierced ear, as she turned toward the patrons. "There a problem?"

"No," Carl said hurriedly, only to be drowned out by Joyce's louder, "YES!"

Rogue cocked her eyebrow and crossed her arms, waiting for one of them to speak.

"I sincerely hope that you do not expect us to pay for this food."

"Ma'am?"

"I'm sorry," Joyce taunted. "Is your inbred upbringing keeping you from understanding me?"

"Joyce!" Carl yelled, shaking his head before looking at Rogue. "I'm so sorry. She didn't mean it."

"Oh, she meant it all right," Rogue told him as her hands went to her sides, fists clinched.

"I most certainly did," the redhead said in agreement. "Honestly, I don't know why you people are even allowed to live."

"You people?" Rogue asked, moving closer to the woman. "Is that what ya said?"

"Yes. YOU. PEOPLE." Joyce stood then. "Your Ma and Pa were probably brother and sister weren't they? Did you have a pet opossum as a child?"

"That's enough, Joyce!"

"You're all the same, ain't ya?" Rogue whispered as she dropped her head, anger filling her body like fuel to a tank. "Belittlin' everyone, turnin' your nose up in the air and thinkin' everybody else is beneath ya. Ya think ya can bat your lashes, smile all sweet like, shake that long red hair of yours and everyone will come runnin'. And most do. I'll give ya credit for that. Because I'll be damned if any of 'em think ya can do wrong… that you're anything less than perfect. No, not the darlin' redhead! Not, the queen of the land. Well, I call bullshit. Do ya hear me? Bull. Shit."

"Rogue," she heard a voice whisper, an alarm of warning in her voice, but Rogue was too far gone to care.

"All ya are is one more shallow person in this world with a hole in her heart the size of Texas. So, ya fill it up with whatever's available, huh? Jewelry, hate, money, men? Use it up and spit it out. There's no substance in there," Rogue told her as she pressed her finger to Joyce's heart.

"Even ol' Carl here, that was your name wasn't it, sugar?" Rogue asked looking away for a second toward the man as he nodded in reply. "Even ol' Carl here knows there's nothin' on the inside. You're as hollow as a drum. But they all love ya don't they? Every last one of 'em. Lay down their life for ya? Love ya with everything in 'em? Seein' nothin' but you? Seein' _only_ You! To hell with everyone else?"

"Aww, poor little girl," Joyce teased. "Someone break your heart? Was it your cousin?"

"That's enough, Joyce," Carl told her, standing to try to stop this sudden madness.

"Let it go, Rogue." Ruthie told her, gently wrapping her hand around the girl's sleeved arm.

"Yes, Rogue," Joyce repeated with a laugh. "Let it go."

"Nah, I don't think I will," Rogue told her, slipping the plastic glove off her hand.

"Rogue," she heard Ruthie say more sternly, feeling the hand on her upper arm tighten as her own was reaching out for the red-haired woman.

"She's not Jean," Ruthie whispered.

With those words, Rogue whirled around to look at her friend with big tears filling saddened brown eyes. "Ruthie…" she pleaded before she slumped to the floor.

Carl, unsure of what to think, grabbed Joyce's hand and darted toward the door, with her yelling profanities with each step. But, the two women appeared not to even notice them now. The older one had taken his seat at the table, while the younger one… Rogue, he thought the lady had called her, was still on the floor with her head in the old woman's lap.

"It's okay, hon," Ruthie whispered, stroking the girl's hair as she let her cry. "It's okay."

A few seconds later, Carl popped his head back inside the door of the diner. Slowly he walked to the counter and placed a handful of bills there. "I'm so sorry," he said with a true sound of regret filling his voice, hoping that somehow it would make a difference.

Ruthie just nodded her appreciation at him, still stroking Rogue's hair as she cried. He said nothing more then, slipping back out as quietly as he had entered.

Sucking in a large breath, Ruthie stared down at the woman before her, thinking over the events that had occurred in such a short course of time. She shook her head and said the only thing she was certain of at that moment. "I shoulda let you spit in her food."

With that, Rogue jerked her head upward and stared at her friend for a brief moment before both women burst into laughter.

"Come on," Ruthie told her as she rose from her chair. "Let's close up. Ben and my bed are still waitin' on me."

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	3. Chapter 3

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… **CHAPTER THREE …**

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**= Xavier's School For Gifted Youngsters =**  
**= Westchester, New York =**

Logan sat quietly on the edge of the bed, bare feet curling and then relaxing on the cold, wooden floor as he ran a hand through his already disheveled hair. Sleep would not be his friend tonight. Not that he and slumber were ever "pals", but it seemed to have gotten worse over the past few years.

Elbows resting on his knees, head dropped and eyes closed, he slowly tilted his head from one side to the other, trying to relax the tightened muscles in his neck. Glancing at the nightstand, he took the lit cigar from the ashtray and planted it firmly between his lips.

Taking a large draw, he felt it begin to override his senses. He could smell the smoke as it whirled around him, feel the heat of the fire as it burnt through the tobacco and could taste the sweet, yet earthy, flavor as he inhaled. All of these things normally would bring about some sort of calm. Because really, there wasn't much Logan liked more than a fine cigar. Well, except maybe a cold beer, a good fight and a willing woman (and not in that particular order, either). Hell, if he'd had all four within a 24-hour period, he considered himself to be having a damn fine day. A Damn. Fine. Day. But not tonight, and he realized that the days of four little things making his day were long since gone. Because that was before…

"Before…" he whispered, unable to fight the sigh that escaped his lips.

Swallowing hard, he took the cigar from his mouth and ground out the ashes in the glass ashtray. No use in wasting a good stogie when he wasn't enjoying it. Then he lifted himself from the bed and made his way to the desk at the corner of the room.

As he flipped on the little green desk lamp, Logan slid himself into the wooden chair. He glanced down at the file he'd left lying there and seemed to be having an internal debate as to whether he really wanted to look at it's contents again. It didn't take long for him to decide, flipping the cover open to scan the pages.

His eyes were instantly drawn to the first of three 4x6 photos that were held in place by a paper clip. The image there was almost enough to make him close the file and walk away.

"Marie," he whispered, so soft and low that it almost sounded like a caress.

Loosening the paper clip from the stack of photos, he brought them closer to the light to inspect them further. Beautiful, big, brown eyes stared up at him. She was smiling in the snapshot. If he was right, it was taken the day after they had arrived at the mansion. He seemed to remember the outfit as being the one she had on when he had first seen her sitting in Ro's class. He didn't ask himself why he would remember what she had been wearing. _That_ wasn't important.

Slipping the photo to the back of the pile, Logan let his eyes scan over the next image. In this one, she was a bit older. The white streaks (a permanent reminder of the ordeal at Liberty Island) now present in her tresses. He could see a multitude of people with her. It was a field trip, he deduced, as a lot of the other students were in the photo with her.

Marie, clothed from neck to toe, seemed a little lost. She was facing the camera, but her eyes were looking away, toward something else. He couldn't help but wonder what had captured her attention.

Huffing, Logan moved the pic, placing it at the back of the pile as he had done the one before, focusing now on the last of three photos.

Almost immediately he felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. No matter how many times he had looked at the photo, it always had the same effect.

**- - - x - - -**

_"Here," Jubilee said as she held out a photo; face down, for him to take from her._  
_  
"What's this?" He asked, flipping it over, revealing it's subject._  
_  
"I was trying out my new camera one day," she explained. "Testing the zoom lens. Rogue was sitting by the window in the library, looking out at the gardens. She never even knew I took it."_  
_  
"Listen," he had started to interrupt, but Jubilee stopped him._  
_  
"I…" she stuttered, almost looking as miserable as he felt. "I just thought that maybe… you'd like to have it."_  
_  
She was right, though he wouldn't admit it to her. Instead, he simply said, "Thanks, firecracker," ruffling her hair in a teasing manner before walking away._

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It was basically a profile shot. Her chestnut hair was falling down in loose waves across her shoulders. Two large strands of platinum, which she usually tucked behind her ears, were left to dangle haphazardly around her face. She was looking down, her expression a mixture of melancholy and loneliness.

How did he know? Because he remembered another time that she had looked that way. It was the last time he'd seen her. That night, he could smell her anguish… her sadness, wafting through the air as if it had been a perfume. So, when he looked at the photo, every time, his senses came alive matching the sight of her with that last night. It was something he would not soon forget.

As if having a mind of it's own, Logan's left index finger moved to run along the curve of her pale streak of hair. God, she was beautiful. He wondered then if she knew that. If anyone had ever bothered to tell her just how stunning she truly was. He knew he had never said it. _Thought it?_ Sure. _Said it?_ No. He regretted that now. Regretted it, like so many things when it came to Marie.

"Surely the ice pick told her," he assured himself. But… what if he hadn't?

What if Bobby had never told her that she was this amazing mixture of smart and sass and love and warmth? That she made you want to be a better man? Or that it was her, and only her, that made you feel like you were worth something?

Pained by the thoughts, Logan shook his head as if to physically remove them from his mind.

Finally allowing himself to lay the photos aside, his attention wandered to the map that rested at the top of the heap of papers within the file. Slowly his eyes followed the trail of black X's that covered the map. Washington, DC… New York City… Niagara Falls… the Canadian Rockies… Alaska. They all bore the mark of a large X as well as smaller ones around them indicating towns that he'd hit, but had found nothing to help him in his search. Accompanying the black marks were two locations circled in red. One was a place he knew she had wanted to go. The other, somewhere he knew she had once been.

Grabbing a marker from the drawer, Logan reluctantly drew a line through the circle at Anchorage. He'd been there three times in the past twenty-seven months. Every time he had come up empty.

Next was Laughlin City. Just a few days ago he had been there, searching the patrons of the bar as he had released his anger and frustration on any contender foolish enough to try to fight him. Midst the brawls, he caught himself looking out of the metal cage, praying to see her staring up at him. But, his prayer was never answered. So, he'd headed back to Westchester, arriving only hours ago and already itching to up and leave again.

His hand shook as he touched the felt tip marker to the edge of the red ink, sliding it across the map until it reached the other side of the circle. Laughlin City had been his last hope, his last chance, at finding Marie and proving everyone wrong. But, she hadn't been there and maybe it was time to face the truth.

Maybe his gut had been wrong? Maybe all this time he'd been searching and running on hope instead of truth. The possibility of that hit him harder than he wanted to admit, feeling as if someone had ripped him open.

He stood then, claws extended as he paced the room like a caged animal.

"No! It ain't right," he said aloud to the emptiness of the room. "It's not supposed to be like this!"

So he begged… pleaded to any God that would listen, to please, just let him go back. Back before the woman he thought he loved was found alive only to kill friends and colleagues before begging him to take her life and he had obliged. Back before he let his best friend walk out a door instead of forcing her to stay like he had so desperately wanted to do. Back before he had waited three weeks for a southern spitfire to bring a smile back to his face with her return, only to realize the smile would never come and neither would she. And, he had been lost.

"Nooooo," he cried out as he flung the file across the room, scattering the contents through the air.

Dropping to his knees then, he watched as the papers floated down around him, like a soft, gentle rain. But, it wasn't rain. No, it was Hell in a snow-white form. For the scattered papers told an ending that Logan had spent over two years trying to deny. But, he was weary… so weary.

Logan stared at the document that, by some cruel twist of fate, had landed closest to him. Palms sweaty, heart racing and guts twisting, he reluctantly let his eyes settle on the words written in red.

**Name: Marie D'Ancanto**  
**Status: DECEASED**

Both Logan, and the Wolverine within him, howled in pain at the loss.

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	4. Chapter 4

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… **CHAPTER FOUR …**

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**= Rogue's Room =**  
**= Keeling, West Virginia =**  
**= 5:45 am =**

_She could feel her life slipping away, like the way you see a shooting star in a midnight sky. One minute it's there, the next it's burnt out and gone._  
_  
Standing atop Lady Liberty, she saw her life in flashes as quick as the flutter of a hummingbird's wings. Picking dandelions from the front yard, playing "Hallelujah" on the piano, planning her trip to Alaska, getting her first kiss…_  
_  
But what she saw most, in those flickers of memories, was Logan. His bare back to her the first time she saw him, the cock of his eyebrow as he'd ordered a beer, the kindness he tried to hide in his hazel eyes and the softness of his touch as he'd held her on the train._  
_  
She wondered briefly how he had impacted her life so much when they'd known each other for such a short time. But, some things defied logic… their relationship was one of those things._  
_  
More and more she could feel the weakening of her limbs, her head falling back, unable to keep it erect any longer, as a steady heartbeat slowed. The Wolverine in her head was yelling at her to "Fight!" and she was trying, she really was, but it suddenly seemed so futile. _  
_  
Her last thought wasn't one of ration, but of emotion. "I wish I coulda kissed him." She had thought to herself. Then there was darkness. Her star had burn out._  
_  
_Rogue's eyes jerked open in a flash, her feet hitting the floor before she even had time to register it. She stared at the bed then as if she half expected to see some demon popping out from under the covers, but there was nothing.

Sweat covered her trembling body as she tried to calm her breathing, reminding herself that it was just a dream. But, it was more than that. It was a memory, wrapped in longing, wrapped in a nightmare and it tormented her.

"Dammit," she yelled, punching the wall and feeling the skin break open and bleed.

"Oh just great, Rogue," she chastised herself as she turned toward the bathroom.

Once there, she ran her hand under the cold water, watching as her blood mixed and swirled with the liquid in the basin. She glanced up for a second, looking at the streaks of white falling loose around her face. She hated those damn streaks. They were an ever-present reminder of what had happened on Liberty Island. A reminder that she had died, only to be brought back by the man she loved.

She glanced at her black wig that sat on the corner shelf, then to her brunette and platinum hair, then back to the wig. She thought about putting it on just so she wouldn't have to see the reminder of her old life staring back at her, only deciding against it because sometimes it made her head itch. She thought maybe she should try dying it again, but knew it was of no use.

At that thought, she unexpectedly remembered an old friend, and she smiled.

"Jubilee…"

**- - - x - - -**

_"I'm gonna dye it," she told Jubilee, flopping down on the bed next to her best friend who was rather preoccupied with her latest issue of a playgirl type magazine._  
_  
Not understanding that she meant, "dye her hair", Jubilee had foolishly said, "Chica, you don't need to go on a diet. Your body's smokin' just the way it is."_  
_  
First, Rogue had given her friend a look that seemed to say, "Aww, thanks," but then quickly turned to one of irritation. "Not DIET, Jubes. DYE it," emphasizing the last part as she grabbed a lock of her hair between her fingers. Dang her southern accent!_  
_  
"Oooooooh!" Came the reply as Jubes closed her magazine, her attention now fully on the conversation at hand._  
_  
"So, what do ya think?" Rogue asked, trying to gauge her friend's reaction._  
_  
"What color? Blonde? Green? Red?"_  
_  
"RED?" Rogue almost yelled the word, giving Jubilee a look of disgust._  
_  
"Kidding, Chica," Jubilee told her with a grin._

_"Uh huh."_  
_  
"Seriously, Roguey. I know better than to think you that you wanna look like Queen Jean."_  
_  
But it was too late, Rogue's mind was in overdrive then. "Do ya… think if it were red, he'd notice me?"_  
_  
"He", of course, being Logan._  
_  
Jubilee just crossed her arms and gave Rogue a smirk. "Chica, don't even go there. You are NOT the poor man's substitute for Mean Jean, got it?!"_  
_  
"You only think she's mean 'cause you're my friend."_

_"Noooo… I think she's mean because she treats you like crap when no one's looking and she acts like she's better than everyone else."_  
_  
Jubilee stopped for only a moment, to plop a new piece of gum in her mouth, then started again. "She's supposed to be one of the good guys, so she should act like it. I mean, like the way she told you to stay away from Wolvie after the statue thing? That wasn't her place, Roguey. You'd been sittin' with him for days and then, 10 minutes before he wakes up, she tells you to go away because you'd be a bad reminder that he almost died! I don't believe it! I think she knew he was waking up."_  
_  
She blew a bubble and popped it. "And then there's the way she plays Scott and Wolvie against each other. She eats it up. And not to mention being the Professor's favorite."_  
_  
Again… bubble… pop. "Dude, there's like a million other reasons for me not to like her that I Will. Not. Get. Into. But, to make a long story short…"_  
_  
"Too late," Rogue joked._  
_  
"She's a snot. Us being friends ain't got nothin' to do with it."_  
_  
Rogue sat silent for a minute as she took in her friend's words. Then a smile crept onto her face and she grabbed Jubilee and hugged her. "Have I told ya lately that I love ya?"_

_"Jeez, Rogue," came the response with a teasing smile. "Make your mind up! Is it me or Wolvie?"_  
_  
"I don't know," Rogue teased back. "Both of ya look kinda hot in yellow."_  
_  
"Yeah, yeah." Jubes mocked offense, crossing her arms. "I see how you are!" She winked then, taking her friends gloved hand in hers. "Now, what color?"_  
_  
30 minutes later Jubilee was once again enthralled in her magazine as Rogue stomped out of the bathroom looking as if she were ready to choke anyone within reaching distance._  
_  
"What?" Jubes asked innocently, rising from the bed to meet Rogue in the middle of the room._  
_  
With a frown, Rogue pulled the towel away from her head to reveal that her hair was still a lovely shade of chocolate, all except for two stripes of white that framed her face._  
_  
"It didn't work." Rogue said through clinched teeth as she pointed to the large streaks of white that still framed her face._

_"Well crap!" Jubes said as she picked a piece of Rogue's damp hair up, inspecting the strand to see if there was even a smidgen of difference in the color._  
_  
"It didn't work," Rogue repeated a little louder this time, before walking over, clearly defeated, to sit on the side of the bed._  
_  
Jubilee quickly came to sit at her friend's side. "But, I always thought you liked them."_  
_  
"I did. I do," she corrected herself. "It's just that…"_  
_  
"There's a difference between having them because you want them and having them 'cause you don't have a choice in the matter?"_  
_  
"Yeah," she whispered._  
_  
"My poor Roguey," was all she heard before Jubilee wrapped her arms around her. "Someone needs a hug."_

**- - - x - - -**

Rogue missed Jubilee more than she cared to admit. She had thought of all the people at the school that Jubes would have been one that wouldn't have disowned her. She had expected her to be mad, but ultimately, to understand and forgive her. After all, Jubilee was the only one that Rogue had left a message with the day after leaving, explaining why she had left and how to get in touch with her. But, Jubilee had never responded to the text.

A voice in her head mockingly told her that she was pathetic and had apparently not meant as much to her "friends" as she had thought. _"You were better off letting me use you to help mutant kind."_

"Stop," she pleaded, as she dried her now swollen hand. "Please, just stop."

What hurt the most, was thinking that Magneto was right. Not that she should have been used as a weapon, but that Logan should have let her die on that statue. It would have been easier… for everyone.

_"Do you really think that?"_ Rogue heard a voice question from the corner of her mind.

"Shouldn't I?" she asked, walking out of the bathroom and back toward her bed.

Apparently she was nothin' but trouble. Her parents had washed their hands of her at the first glimpse of her mutation. She had put Logan and the other Xmen in danger when Magneto came for her. She had almost killed Logan… twice. Hell, she could even take partial credit for Jean dying at Alkali Lake. If she could have just landed the jet without damaging it, then Jean wouldn't have felt the need to "save them" and die in the process. Though she still didn't understand why Jean had to leave the jet to perform her "miracle". Couldn't she have accomplished the same thing while still being safe inside with them? She had even been able to leave the mansion and not have a single person care enough about her to try and contact her. Yep, sounded easier to her.

_"Am I invited to the pity party, kid?"_

"Don't call me kid!" she hissed, looking around the room as if expecting to see Logan sitting there. Shaking her head, she moved her hand through her hair as she sat down on the edge of her bed.

"He's right," she finally whispered as a grin pulled at the corners of her mouth. Somehow, Logan always was, dang it.

She couldn't say what made her do it. One minute she was sitting on the bed thinking how silly she was being, the next she was dialing a number. Even after two years, she knew it by heart.

One ring… two rings… thr…

"Logan." The gruff voice announced.

Immediately she was caught off guard and sucked in a breath.

"Hello?"

He sounded tired.

"Hello?" the voice repeated.

Tears filled her brown eyes as she listened to the voice on the other end of the phone.

"Ya got 5 seconds, bub."

She opened her mouth to say something… anything… but struggled to find the words.

_… CLICK …_

Just like that, he was gone.

If Rogue were honest, she was thankful that Logan had the courage to hang up, because she hadn't. 10 minutes later and the phone was still held in a trembling hand, words trying to force their way through parted lips.

"I…"

She swallowed hard and then cleared her throat as if to wipe away the cob webs that had suddenly formed there.

"Miss you…"

**:- -: - - - :: - - - : - - - - : - - - :: - - - :- -:**


	5. Chapter 5

**:- -: - - - :: - - - : - - - - : - - - :: - - - :- -:**

**- - - - :: - - - - :: - - - -**

… **CHAPTER FIVE …**

**- - - - :: - - - - :: - - - -**

**= Xavier's School For Gifted Youngsters =**  
**= Westchester, New York =**  
**= 5:45 am =**

His body was drained. His soul was weary. But, rest would come to neither.

Gathering the papers strewn across the room, he placed them neatly back in the file. Once closed, he let his hand brush across the top as if trying to caress the woman's face just on the other side of the manila folder. Then, with a frown, he walked away.

The sun was up now, rays of light peeking through the gaps in the curtains. Slipping his body into the small bed, he brought his arms up to rest behind his head. Staring at the ceiling, he realized how small the room really was and wondered if Marie had ever felt trapped when she slept here. Sure, it had given her the privacy she needed as she tried to control her mutation, but damn if he wasn't feeling a little claustrophobic.

Logan closed his eyes and took in a deep breath as he tried to stop the sensation of the walls closing in around him.

"Concentrate," he told himself. "Con. Cen. Trate."

Deep breaths. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

The ring of the phone made him jump.

Another ring…

Grabbing his cell, he tried to see who was calling. It read "West Virginia Wireless". No Number. No Name.

"Odd," he thought.

A third …

"Logan," he announced as he brought the phone to his ear.

No reply. But, he could hear breathing on the other end.

"Hello?" he repeated, his voice telling how worn-out he really was.

Again, all he heard was breathing.

"Hello?"

Briefly, he felt his stomach tie into knots, every nerve he had standing on end.

"Ya got 5 seconds, bub."

He mentally began the countdown. One Mississippi. Two Mississippi. Three Mississippi… Marie…

There was still silence on the other end of the phone.

He wondered then how a stupid number count suddenly made him think of her, and he growled with annoyance. Still, there was no voice on the other end of the phone.

_… CLICK …_

"Damn prank calls."

**: - - - : - - - - : - x - : - - - - : - - - :**

Two hours and a lot of tossing and turning later, Logan made his way to the kitchen. Ororo and Jubilee were sitting quietly at the little table by the window, reading various sections of the newspaper.

"Wolvie!" Jubilee yelled the minute she noticed him.

"Hey firecracker," he told her as she wrapped her arms around him.

"You look like Hell, Wolvie."

"Thanks," he said through gritted teeth.

"Logan," Ororo began as she too made her way to him, giving him a small hug when Jubilee managed to pry herself loose. "Did you find anything?"

His shook his head in shame as he mumbled, "No," seeing Jubilee frown out of the corner of his eye.

"I'm so sorry, Logan."

"I know," he assured her as he moved to get a cup of coffee.

"How long you stayin' this time?" Jubilee asked him as she took a bite of donut.

"Don't know."

"Logan," 'Ro chimed in. "School starts back in 2 weeks. I _can_ count on you to be here, can't I?"

"Yeah, 'Ro. I'll be here."

"Good." A bright smile quickly replaced her look of worry.

Logan just nodded, knowing he was needed, but wanting nothing more than to hit the road again.

"You still got the tape?" Logan asked as he took a sip of his coffee.

Ororo gave him a questioning look. "Yes."

"Good," he told her, never meeting her eyes. "I'd like to take another look at it. Maybe… maybe I missed something."

"Logan," she warned.

"Don't," he told her, his voice a little harsher than he had meant for it to be. "I don't need a lecture, 'Ro. I just want to see if maybe I missed something."

"Logan, we clearly see Rogue step off a bus near the clinic. Not long after, the clinic is bombed. You know there were no survivors." Ororo watched as both Logan and Jubilee seemed to flinch at her words. "Now, I hate thinking she's gone as well as the next person, but, maybe it's time to let it go."

"I can't," he said with defeat, his emotions lingering between sadness and anger, his claws itching to break free from under his skin.

"We lost a lot of good people, Logan. The Professor, Scott, Rogue… Jean."

"STOP IT!" the voice screamed, "JUST STOP IT!"

Both Ororo and Logan turned to a tearful Jubilee. "Don't you dare put Jean in the same category as Rogue and the others! She doesn't deserve it!"

"Jubes, I wasn't trying to…"

"Yes, yes you were! And, it's not right. I know she was your friend, but she… she wasn't what you thought. You don't know how she was when you weren't around. How, she hurt people. Me… Rogue…"

"What are you talking about, yellow?" Logan piped in, letting his anger subside and be replaced with worry.

Jubilee turned to Logan. "We just never said anything, Logan. But she made us miserable. Especially Rogue."

"Why?" he asked. "How?"

"I… she… never mind!" She yelled, running from the kitchen before she could finish.

"I'll go after her," Ororo told him, as she stood from her seat.

"Let me," he said quietly, his eyes meeting 'Ro's.

When she nodded in agreement, Logan disappeared into the hall.

**: - - - : - - - - : - x - : - - - - : - - - :**

It took less than 10 minutes to find the brightly colored kid, huddled in a corner in Marie's old room… his room.

"What're you doin' in here?"

"I miss her, Logan."

"I know," he told her simply as he slid down to sit beside her.

"She was my best friend."

"Mine too."

Jubilee looked at him then, mascara colored tears streaming down her face. "She was?"

"Best friend I ever had," he told her truthfully.

Jubilee nodded in agreement.

"She never judged me. She never gave up on me, even when I wanted to give up on myself." Logan smiled as he remembered the day they met. "She wasn't even afraid of me."

"Really?"

"Really," he confirmed. "She wasn't afraid of much."

"Except her skin," Jubilee added.

A frown quickly replaced his smile as he nodded. "Yeah. Except for that."

Both sat in silence for a while, neither knowing for certain what to say, but somehow taking comfort in the fact that they were not alone in their grief.

Watching as Jubilee wiped away fresh tears, he nudged her side. "You wanna talk about what happened down there?"

"No."

"Okay."

It took less than five seconds for her cave. "Jean wasn't as nice as everyone wants to pretend she was. I mean, I'm sorry she's dead and all, but the truth is still the truth. You don't know the things she did, Wolvie. There were things she did and said that hurt, really hurt."

"Like what?"

"She talked down to us and made us feel like we were nothing. She told me once that I was nothing more than a glorified firecracker."

"Firecracker?" Logan repeated, remembering the many times he had called her that himself. "Jubes, I'm sorry."

"No! Don't be," she told him, patting his hand as she did so. "You made that one better. You turned her negative into something positive. You gave me a nickname. You made it special."

Logan smiled, knowing that if Jubilee really had a problem with it, she wouldn't hesitate in letting him know.

"Then she slept with my boyfriend while her and Scott were on "break"," she told him, complete with air quotes.

Logan just sat still with a look of shock on his face.

"But, she was really hard on Rogue," she admitted, her mind flooded with images of the many times that Rogue had been on the receiving end of Jean's callousness. "Really hard."

"How?"

Jubilee dropped her head, suddenly feeling like she was betraying a trust by speaking to Logan.

"C'mon Jubes," Logan begged. "I won't force you to tell me, but I'd really like to know."

"I overheard Jean tell Rogue once that if it were her, she would have killed herself because what good was it to be alive if you couldn't touch people. She told Rogue that no man would ever risk their life just to touch her and that she should thank her lucky stars that you had a healing factor or you would have been proof of how deadly she was."

Logan looked stunned, never dreaming that Jeannie could be so cruel.

"And, I don't know if you… if anyone ever told you…" she trailed off, still unsure of what to divulge and what to hold close, to continue to keep secret for her lost friend.

"Told me what?" he asked, eyes peering down into hers, pleading for her to continue.

"When you saved her on the statue… when they brought you back here. She never left your side, Logan. She stayed the entire time, refusing to leave. She threatened to tear them from stem to stern, adding the word bub on the end for good measure." Jubilee smiled then. "She was determined to make sure you were okay."

"No one told me," he informed her, suddenly realizing that there was a lot where Marie was concerned that he didn't know.

"Figures," Jubilee grumbled. "I think Jean did it on purpose."

"Did what on purpose?"

"About 10 minutes before you woke up, Jean came in and demanded that Rogue leave. She said that she felt like you wouldn't want to be face to face with the reason you almost died. Rogue left in tears. When she found out you were awake, she came right back to the med lab, but Jean told her to stay away because you weren't ready to see her. You don't know how bad that hurt her."

"Hell, it seems all I ever did was hurt her, one way or another."

"Not you, Logan. Jean!" She watched him then as he struggled to come to terms with her words. "She loved you, you know?"

Logan whipped his head around so fast, Jubilee thought he would get whiplash. "What did you say?"

She swallowed then, suddenly wishing that she had skipped that last part. "Me? I didn't say a thing."

"Jubes!" he warned.

"Fine," she said with a hint of regret. "I said she loved you."

"She had a crush, Jubilee. That's all." His fingers were running across the bridge of his nose then.

"Nooo. I mean, yeah, she had a crush, but it turned into something more."

"No, it didn't!" he yelled.

"Yes, it did!" she yelled back.

He growled.

She sparked up.

"How do you know?"

"Because she told me, Wolvie." Jubilee sighed. "She showed me everyday, at the same time that she was trying to show you."

"What?"

"God Wolvie, sometimes you're so dense!'

"Watch it, Jubes!"

"Sor-ry." She rolled her eyes at him. "Every day she tried to show you that she loved you, that she was old enough, that you were more than her friend. But, you just looked the other way… watched Jean, or went searching for your past, or something, anything, except look at the woman in front of you that loved you."

"She didn't love me," he told her softly, rising from the floor to suddenly pace.

"Yes, she did."

"She was a kid, Jubilee. Just like you're a kid."

"Dude, she wasn't a kid, and neither am I!"

"Dammit!" The pacing increased.

"Wolvie, she was your girl. She was your girl from the get go."

"NO!" he yelled. "No, she wasn't!"

"Fine, you stubborn ass!" Jubilee shouted as she crossed the room and grabbed him by both arms. "You're right, Wolvie. There, happy now?"

Jubilee moved away then, walking out of the room that once belonged to her best friend. When she reached the hall, she looked back at Logan who had been watching her every movement.

"She wasn't yours," she told him as she reached to close the door. "But, she could have been."

**:- -: - - - :: - - - : - - - - : - - - :: - - - :- -:**


	6. Chapter 6

**:- -: - - - :: - - - : - - - - : - - - :: - - - :- -:**

**- - - - :: - - - - :: - - - -**

… **CHAPTER SIX …**

**- - - - :: - - - - :: - - - -**

**= The Woods Behind Xavier's School =**  
**= Westchester, New York =**  
**= 10:00 am =**

"My girl…" Logan uttered sarcastically before finishing off his third beer. "Jubilee don't know what the hell she's talkin' about!"

Him and Rogue… yeah, they were close, but not like that. Never like that. She was too young. He was too old. This world was too… _something_.

He twisted the top off another Molson's, taking a large drink before bringing the bottle to rest on his bent knee.

Sure, he'd had thoughts… thoughts that any red-blooded man would have when they looked at the southern spitfire. But, he was her friend. Her teammate. Her protector.

"Fine job ya did of that last one, bub."

Logan looked up from his seated position beneath an oak tree to see a squirrel eyeballing him curiously.

"What?" he growled through gritted teeth. "You wanna start somethin'?"

Giving Logan no answer, the squirrel stuffed an acorn into its cheek and scurried away.

"That's what I thought!" he said smugly.

_"She was your girl from the get go,"_ he recalled Jubilee saying. But, she hadn't been.

Marie had just been a stowaway. Just some scrawny, half-starved kid that he had helped out. There was nothing more to it than that. Sure, he had thought she was pretty, but she was young… too young. A child even. Hell, that's why he called her kid. It was to remind the Wolverine that that's exactly what she was.

It didn't matter that she would have been an adult now. That she could no longer have been deemed a "kid" by anyone's standards. But he'd known she wasn't, because he'd watched it happened before his eyes. One minute she had been sassing him from the passenger seat of his truck, the next she was wearing a gown that showed off all her curves and milky, white flesh, and giving him his dog tags back. It didn't seem long after that, at all, that he found himself seeing her in a way too different light, and thus upped his pursuit of a certain redhead.

But, she was still just a kid. His reactions had been physical, not emotional. Nothing more, nothing less.

But then, how did he explain hunting her down on the train and making a promise to take care of her? Or risking his life to save her on the Statue of Liberty? Or giving her his tags as some sort of assurance that he'd be back because he couldn't stomach the thought of her thinking that he was running out on her? How did he explain all that?

"I can't," he said aloud, taking another drink of his, growing warmer by the second, beer.

Nor could he explain how he had come to depend on her. It was her soothing voice with the sweet, southern drawl that he needed to hear in order to calm him down after a nightmare. It was her smile that he had to see in order to feel some sense of normalcy in the world. And it was her big, brown eyes that could instantly show him the way back when his soul would get lost in dark, dark places. It was as if she were there saying, "This way," guiding him gently forward until he could feel the warmth in his cold heart. Only she could do that. Only she had ever done that.

But, that all meant nothing, right?

"Right!" he affirmed out loud.

No, Marie had never been his. But he suddenly realized that maybe, just maybe, he had always been hers.

**: - - - : - - - - : - x - : - - - - : - - - :**  
**= Ruthie's House =**  
**= Keeling, West Virginia =**  
**= 12:07 pm =**  
**: - - - : - - - - : - x - : - - - - : - - - :**

Rogue slipped the green duffel bag into the back seat of the red convertible before walking back up to the tiny covered porch and giving a small smile.

"So, you're really doing it, huh?" Ruthie asked as she rocked back and forth in the old wicker chair.

"Yeah, I think I am," Rogue told her as she leaned back against the railing.

"How long will it take to drive?"

"Ten to twelve hours. The directions said about ten and a half, but I'll have to stop and refuel and stretch my legs and such."

"You takin' some snacks and stuff? Toilet paper? Ball bat for anybody that tries to hurt you or get fresh?"

Rogue laughed at the questions. Leave it to Ruthie to cover everything from eating to roadside emergency potty breaks to getting mugged.

"Yes, Ruthie. I'm covered in all areas."

"Good."

"Are you gonna be okay here?"

"Yep. Fine and dandy," she said with a smile. "I talked to Luther this morning and he said he knew a gal needin' some help. Said she'd just got divorced and the little toad had run off with all her money and her best friend to boot. Luth said she was desperate for a job and a place to stay. I told him I now had a vacant room and a job to fill, so I told him to send her on down. She's supposed to be here this evening and start work tomorrow."

Rogue bent down in front of the old woman, a look of worry on her face. "Are ya mad that I'm leavin'?"

"Mad?" Ruthie questioned. "Heaven's no, hon. I'll admit that I'm a little sad, but I always knew this day was comin'."

"Ya did?"

Ruthie reached her hand out and patted the side of Rogue's black hair. "Course I did."

"How?"

"Hon, no one can be in two places at once forever."

Rogue moved to sit cross-legged on the floor and waited for her friend to explain.

"Your body may have left that place, but," Ruthie reached for her then, tapping a place just above Rogue's right breast. "Your heart never did."

"What am I gonna do without ya?" Rogue asked softly as she tried not to cry.

"Survive," Ruthie told her honestly. "You'll survive, the same way you always have. You're a fighter, Rogue. And, you're stronger than you think."

Rogue couldn't help the smile that spread across her face. "Why don't ya come with me, Ruthie?"

"Me?" Ruthie asked with a laugh. "Hon, I'm too old to be traipsin' across the world now."

"It's not the world, Ruthie… just a few states."

"Honey, at my age, it's all the same."

They both laughed then, letting it boil over into tears a few minutes later, as they said goodbye.

"I'll miss ya," Rogue whispered as she gave the woman a hug.

"I'll miss you too."

"Take care of yourself, okay?"

"Oh, don't you worry about me," Ruthie assured. "Now, go on, get yourself outta here! You got places to go and a man to nab!"

Moments later, as Ruthie watched her young friend drive away, she looked toward Heaven and began to pray. "Lord, I know you're busy an' all, but if ya could… watch over that girl. She's somethin' special." She paused briefly then, twisting the golden band around her right ring finger. "And if ya will… Tell Marcus I love him."

**: - - - : - - - - : - x - : - - - - : - - - :**  
**= 2 hours from Westchester, New York =**  
**= 11:18 pm =**  
**: - - - : - - - - : - x - : - - - - : - - - :**

The wind was blowing, the road was before him and Logan was trying his best to forget anything and everything that had to do with one Marie D'Ancanto.

For hours he'd been holed up at the Triple L Tavern. It was a good 2 hours away from Westchester. Close enough that he could make it to the school if need be, but far enough that he could have some privacy from everyone living there.

The drawback had been that they didn't have cage-fighting, but he'd solved that when he took on two guys who were trying to get a little too up close and personal with one of the waitresses. Hell, he'd even been offered a job as a bouncer.

Now, a gut full of alcohol and the Wolverine satiated from a good fight, he was ready to find some place to lodge for the night, not wanting to go back to the mansion just yet. That was his only thought until a convertible decided to pass him in a blur of red, the woman's black hair swirling as she moved around him.

"Where's the fire, lady?" he asked with annoyance. After all, it wasn't like he was letting the grass grow under his wheels or anything. But, he didn't really give it much more thought than that until a sudden mixture of aromas hit his delicate sense of smell.

"That's familiar," he said aloud as he instinctively slowed the bike down to take the fragrance in a little deeper. It was the sweet smell of vanilla and molasses, sunshine and wildflowers, melancholy and loneliness. The smell of Marie.

The minute the scent registered, Logan's mind went into overdrive, his attention diverted. He never saw the deer that had walked out onto the road until it was too late to slow down. Swerving hard to miss the animal, Logan skid across the pavement and landed in a ditch. Unharmed, he rose to his feet and swore madly as the doe looked at him inquisitively before jumping down the embankment.

"What is it with animals today?" he yelled at the sky as he ran his hand furiously through his dark hair.

Quickly, Logan assessed the bike, noting that all damages were simply cosmetic. He would worry about that later. Right now, he had more important things on his mind. Right now, he had to find the owner of the scent that he had only known as Marie's.

Right now, the hunt was on.

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	7. Chapter 7

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… **CHAPTER SEVEN …**

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**= Less Than 2 Hours From Westchester, New York =**  
**= 11:43 pm =**

She was tired. So very, very tired.

Rogue had hoped that she would be able to make it to Westchester before midnight, but all hopes of that had failed. She'd seen two car accidents, seventeen dead animals, six cars with department store bags stuck out the window, and one girl walking with her arms crossed while a guy in a truck seemed to be begging her to get back in. Needless to say, it had been a long drive.

So, it came as no real surprise that when she saw the sign reading "Myers Motel", she turned the car into the parking lot and decided to call it a day. Tomorrow she could start fresh, facing old friends that she hoped would welcome her back. If not, well… she hadn't really gotten that far in her plan and there was no use in thinking about it now.

Stepping inside the small motel, she smiled sweetly at the young man behind the counter.

"Any rooms available," she asked, glancing down to read his nametag, "Ray?"

"Yes, ma'am," he said shyly. "Single or double occupancy?"

"Single."

He scanned the list of empty rooms before saying, "I'll need some information…"

"Of course, sugar," she told him politely as she gave him the appropriate amount of money, in cash, and wrote her name in the hotel guest book.

"Room 243," he told her as he slid the key card across the counter.

She huffed. "Figures. Last three digits of Logan's tags," she mumbled under her breath.

"Did you say something, miss?"

"No sugar," she told him sweetly as she gathered the key card and headed toward the elevator. "You have a good night now."

**: - - - : - - - - : - x - : - - - - : - - - :**

Twenty minutes later, Ray stiffened in his chair as Logan stepped inside the motel lobby.

Immediately he cleared his throat as if trying to somehow gather courage from it. "Can I help you, sir?"

"I'm looking for a woman."

"Sir, this isn't that type of motel," Ray offered hastily.

"Can it, bub. I didn't mean like that," he told him quickly, as he rolled his eyes. "Besides," suddenly feeling as if his manhood had been called into question, "Do I really look like I would need your help with women?"

"No sir," Ray mumbled, head down. "Not at all, sir."

"That's what I thought!"

_Status: Ego still firmly in place._

"Now, did you see a woman with brown hair come through here a little while ago?"

"Brown hair?"

"With some white streaks," Logan offered as Ray tried to recall seeing anyone that fit that description.

"No. No, sir. No one like that. I… think I'd remember."

Shit. Logan knew that the 1970 Dodge Convertible outside was the one that had passed him. Besides, he could still smell that intoxicating aroma that had his head spinning. He thought then, trying to recall every millisecond of his brief encounter with the woman.

"What about black? Anyone come in here with black hair in the past hour?"

Ray looked down then, unsure as to whether to give him an honest answer, which told him exactly what he needed to know.

"I'll take a room," he said gruffly, pulling money from his jean pocket.

"Yes, sir. Single or doub…"

"Single," he interrupted.

"Yes, sir." Ray again searched the vacant room list. "That'll be seventy two dollars and I'll need some information."

Ray slid the guest book over and took the cash offered to him as Logan quickly scanned the names on the list. The last five entries had all been men, but one. Ruthie Gillespie. Hmmm…

Logan quickly jotted down his name and slid the ledger back over to Ray.

"Room 245, Mister…" Ray scanned the page for the name and then looked at Logan skeptically. "John Wayne?"

"No relation," Logan told him with a smirk, grabbing the key card and heading toward the elevator.

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Rogue dialed Ruthie's number and immediately heard the sweet sound of her friend.

"Hey Ruthie," she said with a smile. "I knows it late and all, but I promised ya I'd call."

"And you better be glad you did!" Ruthie warned, Rogue hearing the smile even through the phone. "You already there?"

"No," she told her with disappointment. "I had to end up stoppin' for the night, gotta little tired."

"I see. Did ya have any trouble?"

"Nope."

"You didn't have to break out the ball bat did ya?"

With a laugh, Rogue told her that the bat was still safe and sound in her passenger seat.

"Good."

Ruthie seemed to sense Rogue's worry. "Rogue, you're gonna be fine. But, ya know if ya need anything, I'm right here… only a phone call away."

"I know, Ruthie, and I thank ya for that." Rogue glanced at her watch and frowned. "Well, I better let you get back to bed. Goodnight, Ruthie."

"Goodnight, hon."

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Logan walked to his room slowly, carefully taking in every smell wafting through the air of the small motel. When he reached the door that read 243, the smell he knew as Marie had been strong. He swallowed hard and honestly thought about just knocking on the door, but couldn't bring himself to do so. So, he taken two more steps and let himself into his own room, closing the door behind him with a bit of frustration.

Moments later he found himself leaning against the adjoining wall, trying to hear any sounds coming from the room. There was definitely movement, but all he could hear were the sounds coming from the television set. Damn. What was he supposed to do now?

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Rogue was hungry. It was now after Midnight and she realized that she hadn't eaten anything since around three. Remembering a snack machine on her way to the room, she decided that it would have to do.

Slipping on her shoes, she headed out of her room and toward the little snack area. Upon reaching her destination, Rogue scanned the available items and smiled as she slipped in a five and began pressing buttons. B1: Mallo Cup, E4: Cheetos, E5: Funyuns.

"Now that's a balanced diet right there," she said with a laugh as she gathered the items along with a Coke and headed back up the hallway.

She was almost to her room when she felt the hairs on her necks stand up. She stopped instantly, whirling around, only to be met by an empty hallway. It had been a long time since she'd had that happen to her and she couldn't say that she'd missed the feeling. Nope, not one tiny bit.

Taking in a breath, Rogue hurried to her room and shut the door.

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Logan heard her door open and, seconds later, found himself watching the woman from the shadows in the hallway.

Her hair was black, shoulder length, hiding her face from his view. Her body was curvy and perfect. Her skin was a beautiful shade of porcelain. But what he noticed most, at that moment, was that this woman wasn't wearing gloves. Her long, slender hands were bare, and Logan watched in amazement as she pushed the letters and numbers on the vending machine, somehow awe struck by the gracefulness of such a small act.

He tried to recount the last time he'd seen Marie's hands, so as to compare with the female before him, but kept drawing a blank. Then suddenly, he saw her turning back toward her room and he dipped into a darkened corner in the hall, sucking in a breath as he did so.

She walked past him, seemingly unaware of his presence or his eyes upon her, but then she stopped. If possible, he was even more still as he pressed his body as close to the wall as he could.

She was still for a moment, never moving a muscle, and Logan thought for sure he had been spotted, but then as suddenly as she stopped, she started walking again… her pace increasing with each step. It seemed, before he even had time to blink, the woman had disappeared back into her room.

With an air of disappointment, Logan walked back up the now empty corridor, stopping involuntarily in front of room 243. Softly, he placed his hand against the wooden door and sighed.

Seconds later, the door flung open and a hand jerked him hard into the darkened room. He had been caught off guard.

_"How the hell did this happen?"_ he thought to himself as he felt his body hitting the floor and a blade being held to his throat.

The body of woman was crouched on top of him, a leg on either side, her weight pressed against his chest. His eyes, now adjusting to the dark, saw the woman bending down, hair falling forward with her.

"Ya got five seconds to tell me what the hell you're doin' followin' me before I slit your damn throat."

His head was spinning, his eyes were burning and his chest hurt. He tried to swallow, but couldn't. Tried to breath normally, but the breaths were coming in uneven gasps. His hand instinctively went to her face as he hoarsely forced one word out of his parted lips.

"Marie?"

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	8. Chapter 8

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… **CHAPTER EIGHT …**

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**= Myers Motel =**  
**= Room 243 =**

_She knew someone was watching her. Of that, there had been no question. But who?_  
_  
Stepping inside her room, Rogue put her snacks on the dresser, grabbed the knife she had tucked in her boot and turned off the light. Walking back to her door, she listened for any noise coming from the other side. Someone was there, all right._  
_  
"Damn it," she swore to herself._  
_  
Without another thought, she jerked the door open and grabbed at the man's hand, lunging him forward into the pitch-black room. With a sweep of her leg, she tripped her would be assailant and felt his body crash to the floor._  
_  
"Wolverine would be proud," she thought to herself as a smirk somehow made it's way to her face._  
_  
A second later she was straddling her stalker, a blade pressed to his Adam's apple as she threatened the muscular form beneath her._  
_  
Everything was going pretty well, she realized, until he spoke…_

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"Marie?"

She heard the word as a hand was reaching for her face.

"No," she whispered, shock hitting every cell of her body. She wasn't Marie. She hadn't been Marie for a very, long time. But, how would they know to call her that?

She was off him in an instant. Hands and feet sought traction as she scurried backwards across the floor, stopping only when she felt her back hit the side of the bed.

She watched as the form, now on all fours, hurried across the floor to reach her. A second later, she felt a large arm snake around her waist and bring her up on her knees as she was crushed into an embrace.

"Marie," she heard the strained voice say again. "It's really you?"

Finally, she allowed herself to think beyond the initial instinct to run. The voice was familiar. The body that held her was familiar. The intoxicating smell of cigars, booze and sweat… familiar.

"Logan," she told herself.

"Logan," she repeated, this time aloud.

"Logan," again when she felt the arm around her tighten, as a low groan reverberated between their much too close bodies.

Then, as if trying to make sure that she was all in one piece, Logan's hands were everywhere. He was touching her face, her arms, her stomach… and she tried not to let the sensations stir the longing she had for him, the longing she'd always had for him.

"I knew you weren't dead," she heard him say, and with that, eyes that she hadn't realized she'd closed, popped right back open.

"What?" she asked as she struggled to get out of his grip.

Her question seemed to bring Logan out of his haze as well as he sat back on his haunches and looked at her.

Rogue used the space he created to move from him. As quickly as she could, she rose from the floor and reached for the lamp to add light to the darkened room. Then, turning to look at Logan as he slowly moved to sit on the edge of her bed, she crossed her arms and gave him a peculiar look.

"Whaddaya mean, ya knew I wasn't dead?"

Logan watched as Marie stood there, arms crossed, brow furrowed, waiting for him to explain. Well that's okay, she had some explaining to do herself.

"So, it is you."

"Well, I sure as hell ain't the Ghost of Christmas Past!"

He couldn't help but grin. _"God, she's sassy,"_ he told himself.

"No?" he asked smugly. "Maybe Ruthie Gillespie then?"

"What the hell, Logan?" she asked, arms suddenly unfolding to be held out to him to further her point.

"I saw it on the register," he told her with a grin.

_"See,"_ the Wolverine told him. _"Five minutes with her and you're already smilin'."_

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Logan!" she yelled. "Snap out of it!"

"They said you were dead," he told her bluntly and watched as her false bravado failed a bit at his words. "Everyone thought you were dead."

"I don't understand," she said softly, coming forward cautiously to sit next to him on the bed.

"After you left, things got a little crazy. Jean…" He saw her flinch at the word, he felt himself do that same. "Jean was gone, she was all Phoenix. She did a lot of damage. I… I had to..."

"Oh Logan," he heard her say, understanding what he couldn't force himself to voice. "I'm so sorry. I… know ya loved her."

He nodded then. "I thought I did too." Logan didn't elaborate nor did he give Rogue the chance to question what he had meant.

"Anyway," he told her. "When we… when I got back to the mansion, I waited on you to come back from taking the cure. After three weeks, I got worried..."

Logan stood then, suddenly finding himself pacing in the small room. "We got surveillance tapes and saw you getting off a bus. We matched up the street with the closest Clinic. It had been bombed the same day. There were no survivors. A lot of people couldn't be identified."

His eyes met hers then, "You were considered to be among the dead."

"Logan, I'm …"

"What happened, Marie?" His voice was low as he crossed the room to kneel down in front of her. Rogue wanted to reach out to him, but closed her hand in a fist to keep from doing so.

"I left," she told him simply.

"To take the cure," he added. "But, what happened after that?"

"No," she corrected.

"No, what?"

"No, I didn't leave to take the cure."

He moved back to the bed then, eyes searching hers for answers she was afraid to give. "Then why?"

"Doesn't matter," she told him, suddenly finding herself wanting to pace. She rose to do so, but Logan reached out and grabbed her bare hand to stop her.

"What about this?" he asked, his eyes motioning toward their hands.

She swallowed hard. Did he not know what he was doing to her? "I… can control it, now."

Logan's eyes stayed fixated on her own as his fingers began to stroke her trembling hand.

"How?" he asked hoarsely.

"Ruthie taught me," she told him simply.

"So, there really is a Ruthie?" he asked with a grin, never ceasing his torturous caress.

"Yeah," she whispered as she sat back down on the bed, moving her hand from Logan's touch.

He frowned with disappointment, wanting to touch every bit of skin he could, but understood her reluctance to let him try.

"Where'd you go?"

"West Virginia."

He laughed. "Little off the beaten path, isn't it?"

"A little," she told him, flashing a small smile that made it hard for him to breath.

"The bus you saw me get off of," she reminded him, "had an older fella on it. We got to talkin'. I told him I was startin' over and wasn't sure where I was gonna go. He said he had a sister in West Virginia that owned a diner and he knew she was lookin' for help. Before I got off the bus, he called her and she offered me a job, and said she rented out a room in her house that I was more than welcome to live in, if I wanted it. Luther said Ruthie was always takin' in strays." She smiled as she said the last part. "I told him I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. But when I stepped off that bus I realized that I didn't have any better offers. So, I headed to the nearest station for a ticket. Two days later I was workin' as a cook at Gillespie's Grill."

She gave a sly smile then, a bit of pride flashing in her eyes. "I was good at it."

"I bet."

"Are ya makin' fun, Logan?" she asked seriously.

"No darlin'," he told her, his hand coming up to touch her cheek for a brief moment. "You always were a good cook."

"I was?"

"Yeah. Remember that time you made me dinner? What was it again… fried chicken, mashed potatoes, collard greens and corn bread?"

"I forgot about that," she told him shyly.

"I didn't," his voice whispering something Rogue didn't quite recognize. "Best meal I ever had."

"Oh stop," she warned as she swatted his hand teasingly.

"It was."

Logan watched her as she tucked a strand of black hair behind her ear. "Is that where you got the new 'do?"

"Why? Ya don't like it?"

"It's alright," he told her with a shrug. "Just don't look like you is all."

"That was kinda the point."

"What was wrong with the old Marie?"

Rogue looked up at him, a hint of challenge in her eyes. "You tell me."

_Not a damn thing. I was just too stupid to see it._

"Were you happy there?" he asked instead of answering the question she'd posed.

"Happy as I was gonna be."

"What's that mean?"

"It means it wasn't where my heart was."

"And where was your heart?"

"Not there," she said with an evasive grin.

His smile left then as he watched her, a seriousness easing it's way onto his features and Marie felt herself grow nervous. "Why'd you leave the school?"

She thought about lying, but knew it was pointless. "I'd just reached my limit, is all."

"Why'd you tell me you were takin' the cure?"

"I didn't," she defended. "You thought it all your own, I just didn't correct ya."

"Why not?" he asked, frustration slipping into his voice.

"I don't know," she said honestly. "I just didn't. I wasn't really thinking straight. Just knew I needed to leave."

"What ain't ya sayin'?"

"Nothin'."

She lied.

One cocked eyebrow told her that he knew it too.

"It was just too much," she told him, a hint of sadness in her voice.

"What was?"

"Gawd, you're askin' alotta questions!"

"Got a lot I need answers to," he told her plainly.

With a sigh of defeat she gave in, realizing she would have the same questions if she were in his place. "I… caught Bobby and Kitty together." When Logan stiffened, she knew he'd gotten the wrong impression. "Not, together together. I just saw that they were sharin' somethin' that he and I never had."

"What?

"Love."

Logan dropped his head, knowing how it must have hurt her to see them together. Damn that ice prick, he'd have to give him a thorough tongue lashing when he got back to the school.

"I saw you too…"

His head snapped up to stare at her. "Huh?"

"You and Jean," she confessed. "In the med lab."

"Shit, Marie. I'm sorry about that. I didn't know."

"Don't apologize, Logan."

Unable to bear sitting next to him any longer, Rogue rose from the bed, gathering her Coke and taking a large drink. "I mean, it's your business. Ya have every right to have sex with whoever ya want."

Her words stung him, a little harder than he might want to admit. "It wasn't like that."

She grunted in disbelief. "Wasn't it?"

"No, it wasn't," he snapped. "We… didn't. I stopped it before it went too far."

"Like I said… your business, don't matter none to me."

"Damn it, Marie!" He was across the room before she had time to think, backing her against a wall. "You sure about that," he asked, his voice low and breathy. "Cause it sure seemed like it mattered to ya."

"Logan." Rogue meant to say it as a warning, but somehow it came out more like a plea. He was staring a hole into her soul and it was making her nervous.

"I'm tired, Logan," she finally said, breaking whatever stand off they were having. "Let's finish this talk tomorrow."

She watched then as he closed his eyes, his face showing a sign of defeat? Frustration? Both?

"Fine," he told her, walking over to the bed and shrugging off his boots.

"Whaddaya think you're doin?"

"Gettin' ready for bed," he said smugly.

"Oh no ya don't, ya big brute! Get up," she ordered as she crossed the room and pulled on his arm. "Logan, get up!"

Finally, he stood and smiled seductively at her. "Darlin'," he began as he bent to whisper in her ear. "If you think after two years that I'm gonna be stupid enough to let you out of my sight… well, you're crazy. So if you're tired, then get ready for bed. But…" His lips were brushing against her cheek now. "I ain't goin' nowhere."

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	9. Chapter 9

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**- - - - :: - - - - :: - - - -**

… **CHAPTER NINE …**

**- - - - :: - - - - :: - - - -**

**= Myers Motel =**  
**= Room 243 =**

Rogue took a step back and Logan grinned. "You ain't sleepin' here," she yelled.

"Yeah, I think I am."

Exasperated, Rogue paced for the second time that night. "Logan, I repeat… ya ain't sleepin' here."

Logan backed himself up to the bed and sat down. "I ain't gonna try nothin', Marie." His voice was low and, if Rogue weren't mistaken, had a hint of hurt in it. "I just don't wanna let ya go just yet."

Her resolve melted. "Damn it," she mumbled, grabbing her food and drink from the dresser and bringing it over to the bed. "Ya hungry?"

Logan nodded a simple "yes" as he grinned. He was thankful she had given into him. He knew he had no right to stay there with her, but he had told her the truth… kind of. What he left out was that he was afraid. Yes, the big, bad Wolverine was afraid. Afraid if he left that motel room that she'd disappear, that he'd never see her again, that maybe he was losing his mind and she was just a figment of his imagination. And if she was, he was gonna make damn sure he got to pretend as long as possible, because a pretend Marie was better than no Marie at all.

"Thought you were tired," he piped in as he popped a Cheeto into his mouth.

"I was… I am…" she told him, pushing a few Munchos into her own. "But, I'm starved too."

Logan nodded his understanding and watched as she eagerly devoured the food before her. It reminded him of the day they first met.

With a furrowed brow, she stared at him. "How'd ya find me anyway?"

"Remember a certain bike you sped by earlier tonight?"

Her face lit up with recognition. "That was you?"

"Yeah," he confirmed, taking another bite of the cheesy goodness Rogue had offered him. "I caught a whiff of you, wrecked, and then headed back to find ya."

"Wait," she interrupted, concern showing in her features. "Ya wrecked? When? How? Are ya okay?"

"Healing factor, remember?"

God, he could be so smug sometimes.

"Yeah, yeah," Rogue answered, waving a hand through the air. "What happened?"

"A deer was in the road, didn't see it 'til it was too late."

"Oh no! Ya killed a deer!?"

"NO, I didn't kill a deer!" he defended. "Hey, I'm the injured party here!'

"Healing factor, remember?" she reminded him, oozing that sass that he loved so much.

"Hmph!" he grunted, feigning hurt feelings, but she wasn't buying it. "For the record, the deer was just fine. Even gave me this "what the hell?" look before it headed over the embankment. I swear, animals have had it in for me all day! First a squirrel and then a deer."

"A squirrel?"

"Yeah."

"What did a squirrel do?"

"Challenged me," he told her simply. "But, it backed down."

She tried not to laugh, she really did, and Logan watched her as she bit down on the inside of her lip to try to keep control. But, he gave her a good 5 seconds before she lost it.

5… 4… 3… 2…

The chuckle erupted into the room and Logan thought it was the prettiest sound he'd ever heard. Seconds later, despite himself, he joined in. He'd forgotten what it was like to laugh… leave it to Marie to remind him.

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**= 1:52 am =**  
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"I'm still confused 'bout Jubes," Rogue told him as she fidgeted with the bottom button of her shirt. "I sent her a text, the day after I left letting her know where I was headed, but she never got back to me."

"I don't know, darlin'," he told her honestly. "But, I can tell you this… Jubilee most definitely thinks that you're… dead."

"I just thought she didn't wanna talk to me," she whispered, eyes trying to fight back tears. "I thought I was just forgotten, not worth the trouble."

"Never, darlin'," he whispered, tilting her chin up, forcing her to look at him. "You're worth everything."

He wanted to kiss her. Logan felt his body aching for it, but he tried to push the feelings down. It wasn't the right time. So, instead, he moved his hand away and frowned.

"But, you can ask Jubes about it tomorrow."

Rogue nodded in agreement.

"You are still plannin' on going back to the mansion, ain't ya?"

"Yeah," she told him. "I told ya, that's been my intention the whole time. That's why I left West Virginia."

Logan breathed a sigh of relief. Just hearing her say that she was heading back to Westchester eased his worries.

"You goin' for a surprise attack or forewarning them?"

"Whaddaya think?"

"Surprise attack," they said in unison.

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**= 2:31 am =**  
**: - - - : - - - - : - x - : - - - - : - - - :**

Rogue stepped out of the shower and stared at herself in the mirror. She was still trying to take in all the information she'd been given tonight, and hell if it wasn't a lot to comprehend.

She had left Westchester because she loved Logan and honestly felt that she was more of a problem than a solution. She couldn't help the team when she couldn't even help herself. Logan thought she had left to take the cure. She got off a bus near a Clinic that was later blown up, and because she let Logan think she was taking said cure, everyone thought she had died. Jubilee, for some reason or another, didn't get her text and so she hadn't been shunned as she had thought, she had been mourned. Everyone had thought she was dead. And, dead people don't get texts or phone calls or letters. And now, the man that she loved was out there sprawled on her bed, refusing to sleep in his own room and she was holed up in the bathroom…

"You okay in there?" came the question from the other side of the door.

"Y… yeah," she stuttered out, jumping like a scared cat at his voice. "Be out in a minute."

"Okay."

Rogue took a deep breath as she hurried and slipped into her clean clothes. Her original idea had been to just sleep in what she had worn that day, but driving twelve hours with the top down through most of her trip back to New York, had left her feeling more than a bit "dusty". So, she decided on a shower and to just wear what she normally wore to bed. She couldn't help it if her nightclothes looked like, well… nightclothes. They weren't sexy or silky. They were cotton and comfortable. And, how the hell was she supposed to know that a certain tall, dark and demanding Wolverine was gonna invite himself into her bed?

"Men," she mumbled under her breath, frustration obvious in her voice.

Quickly, she brushed out her long hair before fixing it in a messy braid that hung over her shoulder. Giving herself a final "once over", she swallowed hard and stepped out into the bedroom…

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Logan had been lying on his side, shirt off, jeans on, staring at the light that was peeking out from under the bathroom door. He had watched the different shadows taking form there, deciphering each shape as it happened. First there had been the removal of the clothes, a heap casting a clumped shadow at one corner of the door. Then there was little dancing shadows, which had been Marie moving around before getting in the shower. Then, no movement, just the sound of water running as a slight bit of steam rolled out from under the door. A little while later, shadows again moved and he had estimated that Marie was now standing still, not moving an inch. And, that worried him.

"You okay in there?" he had asked.

From the scurry of shadows now, Logan assumed he had caught her off guard and stifled his desire to laugh. It wasn't long after that, that he watched as she stepped out of the bathroom and felt his jaw drop and his heart stop.

Rogue stood there, damp hair tied in a braid with stripes of white framing her face. Her gray t-shirt did little to hide her full bosom and the dark green shorts she wore hugged her hips in a way that he could only dream of doing.

"Beautiful," he whispered before could stop himself.

He watched as she tilted her head and said, "What?"

Breathing a sigh of relief that she hadn't heard him, he tried to recover. "What happened to the black?"

Rogue was taken aback, but quickly realized the subject of his question. "It's in the bathroom," she told him. "I can put it back on…"

"No…" he told her, a little more forceful than he had meant to. "You look like you now."

Rogue smiled shyly as she crossed the room. Quickly she slid herself down onto cream-colored sheets, turning off the lamp before lying her head down on the pillow. Logan, who was behind her, went to pull the blankets up, but she stopped him.

"Too hot for 'em right now," she told him, her hand covering his to stop his actions.

"Okay," he forced out before sliding back down next to her.

"Goodnight, Logan."

"Goodnight, darlin'," he whispered back to her as he placed a gentle kiss to the top of her head. "Sleep well."

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	10. Chapter 10

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… **CHAPTER TEN …**

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**= Myers Motel =**  
**= Room 243 =**

Rogue closed her eyes and tried to let slumber overtake her, though she wasn't having much luck.

First there was her mind, which was in overdrive at the fact that she was not alone. Not since she was 11 years old, no make that 10, had someone slept in the same bed as her. That had been a lifetime ago, she realized. Long before her mutation had made itself known. So, it was no surprise that she now found herself nervous to be so close to another human being after being isolated for so long. It didn't help that the someone sharing her bed was of the male persuasion. Nor, that the male in question was Logan. Logan, for crying out loud!

As if that wasn't enough, Rogue's body seemed to be chiming in as well. _"This is not the way we sleep!"_ it seemed to yell.

Rogue just rolled her eyes as she stared at the little rectangular "Motel Rules" sign hanging by the door. It was too dark to make out what was printed on it, but she was pretty sure that somewhere on there it said, "Kick that pointy haired man outta your bed and sleep on your left side like you've done every dang night for years!"

_Suuure, like that was gonna happen._ Sleeping on her left side would mean facing the bare-chested Adonis lying next to her. Now, it was one thing to know he was there, but it was opening up a whole new can of worms if she had to "see" him there. _And when the hell did you ever really see anyone opening a can of worms anyway?_

So, the battle began. Brain vs. Body, neither particularly happy with the current set of circumstances. No, that was a lie. She'd forgotten about her heart. That damn thing was doing imaginary flip-flops at the thought of being so close to the man she loved. It was virtually on the brink of bursting from her chest it was so freakin' happy.

Punching her pillow in frustration, Rogue mumbled a few incoherent words.

"You okay, over there, darlin'?" came the sleepy voice of her sex on a stick bedfellow.

"Jus' fluffin' my pillow," she said as innocently as she could.

"Okay then," he mumbled, before letting the room grow quiet.

For a long time it stayed that way, the only noise coming from the slight humming of the mini fridge at the corner of the room. It was in that quiet that Rogue's mind finally stilled and her body relaxed, letting her heart take the lead. Alert only enough to hear Logan's even breathing and mistaking it for sleep did she allow herself to say what she had longed to voice from the moment she'd seen him.

"I missed you."

Logan never let her know he was awake, sensing she hadn't really meant for him to hear her. Instead, he simply let one slender finger secretly caress the end of her long braid, smiling contently at her confession.

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**= 9:47 am =**  
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Logan lay quiet in the queen size bed, listening to the soft breathing of the woman next to him. At some point during the night, Marie had turned in her sleep and was now nestled in his large arms. He mentally patted himself on the back for the amount of restraint that he had shown. All night long, while the beauty slept, the beast within himself had begged for him to "just take her". But, he hadn't. Because this was Marie, and she wasn't someone you just "took". No, Marie was someone to treasure, to adore… to love. And, he did. God help him, he did.

So, he'd held her as she slept. Her silky brown hair, soft against his skin. Her slow, even breathing, warm against his chest. And her body, her damn flawless body, fitting against his so perfectly that it was like two puzzle pieces coming together. It was torture. Sweet, delectable, never want it to end, torture.

Logan decided, at that moment, that he wouldn't tell her that he had spent the entire night awake, just watching her sleep. Nor would he tell her how he had prayed for daylight. Because, he rationalized, if morning came and Marie was still there, then it hadn't been a dream. That _this_ was real and _she_ was real. So, when the sun came up and the smallest of rays danced across her sleeping form, Logan felt something he never thought he would… he felt blessed.

Gently, he bent his head and placed a tender kiss to the tip of Rogue's nose. She reacted by nuzzling into him, unwilling to wake just yet. Logan fought the urge to give her a good and proper wake up call, but decided against it, despite the reaction his body was having to her innocent touches.

"Marie," he forced out in a husky voice, almost thankful that she wasn't awake enough to remember the little kiss he'd given her in a moment of weakness. He watched then as she moved a bit, slowly stirring from her sleep, chocolate brown eyes fluttering open.

"Mornin', darlin'. You sleep alright?"

Rogue looked up at beautiful hazel eyes and smiled, nodding a simple "yes". The morning haze clearing from her mind, she suddenly realized just how close she had been to her bedmate and a small blush made it's way to her cheeks.

"Sorry," she mumbled as she scooted away, putting as much distance as she could between their bodies.

"It's okay," Logan told her, already missing the closeness he'd shared with her just seconds before. "Didn't hear me complainin' did ya?"

Rogue smiled at his words. "What time is it?"

"Around ten," he informed as he moved off the bed and turned on the overhead light.

"Ya shouldn't have let me sleep so late," she told him with a frown.

"You were tired. Didn't see no need in wakin' ya before I had to."

Slipping on his wife beater, Logan looked over his shoulder at her as she slid up in the bed and sat cross-legged. "I woulda let you sleep longer, but check out time is noon. I didn't know how much time you'd need to get ready."

"Not much," she forced out as she yawned, stretching her arms above her head as she did so.

"Want some breakfast?"

"Oh, that sounds great!"

"Motel continental, drive thru, or do ya wanna find a restaurant?"

"You pick," she told him.

"I'm game for whatever," he admitted as he sat down next to her, slipping on his boots. "Though I gotta tell ya, I don't think bagels and dry cereal are gonna cut it."

Rogue smiled at the admission. "Yeah, I'm with ya on that. I definitely need somethin' a bit more fillin'. After all," she teased, motioning toward the empty bags of chips on the nightstand, "Someone ate half my dinner last night."

"Hey! You offered!" he defended, a teasing grin etched on his face.

"That I did, Logan. That I did."

"So… 20 minutes long enough?" he asked, slipping on his flannel shirt.

Beginning to unravel her braid, she nodded. "Yeah, 20's fine."

Logan ran a hand through his dark tresses. "Then, I guess I'll head next door and shower real quick."

Rogue noticed his nervousness instantly, watching as he stared at her with a questioning look in his eye.

"What is it, Logan?" she asked, rising from the bed and making her way to him.

"You will be here when I come back won't ya?"

"Yes, Logan," she assured, giving him a small smile. "I'll be here."

"Alright then," he mumbled as he opened the door, looking over his shoulder as she watched him. "See you in 20."

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**= Rudy's Restaurant =**  
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At Ray's recommendation, Logan and Rogue had found their way to a little Mom and Pop diner ten minutes from the motel. What Ray had forgot to mention was that it was _his_ Mom and Pop that ran the place, but the omission was overlooked since the food was so good.

The next hour was spent catching up on what the other had missed out on over the past two years. Logan told her about the school staying open, with Ororo in the driver's seat. She and Hank had become an item not long after his return to the school to teach a slew of different classes. The ol' fur ball was just a fountain of information.

Logan went on to tell her that he was teaching the Self Defense and Auto Shop classes, admitting that he had come to like being able to help the kids learn some valuable skills. It took him a while to get into the swing of things, but once he had, he rather enjoyed it, though he wouldn't let the kids know that.

Later, Logan told Rogue about Bobby and Kitty still being together and was surprised to see that Rogue seemed pleased by the news. Jubilee, he told her, still had a hoard of boys sniffing after her. She refused to commit to just one, saying she liked having choices. The boys didn't seem to mind though, so he guessed there was nothing wrong with it.

"Sounds like she's taking after you," Rogue teased.

Logan just gave her a smirk and took another sip of coffee.

When it was Rogue's turn, she talked of small towns, large mountains and good people with big hearts. She told Logan about the first time she tried moonshine and how she had jumped off the New River Gorge Bridge at the last Bridge Day celebration. But mainly, she talked of Ruthie.

Rogue told Logan of how Ruthie worked at "Gillespie's Grill" with her and how Marcus, her husband of more than 40 years, had died last spring. "Black Lung" they called it. It's what most coalminers got after working so many years underground. Ruthie had been devastated, but instead of wallowing in her sorrow, she had been strong and continued on.

It was after Marcus had passed that Rogue had gained control over her skin.

"We were closin' up one night," Rogue began as she fidgeted with a packet of sugar. "Ruthie fell on the wet floor. When I went to help her up, she put her arms around my neck. It wasn't until she was standing that we realized that she had been touchin' my bare skin."

"You didn't have your scarf on?" Logan asked curiously.

"No," she told him. "Safety hazard at work. 'Sides, it's not really an everyday occurrence for someone to touch your neck, ya know?"

Logan nodded in agreement.

"Anyway," she added, "Ruthie decided that my control was more of a mental challenge than a physical one. So, everyday before work, she and I would meditate."

Rogue closed her eyes and stilled in her chair. Taking in a deep breath, she repeated in a low voice, "I control my skin, my skin does not control me. I control my skin, my skin does not control me."

She opened her eyes then. "I repeated that over and over again… for months. Then one day, it sunk into that thick skull of mine. I finally believed the words I was sayin'. And just like that, a switch was flipped and I could control it."

Logan smiled in amazement. "Amazing."

"Yeah," she told him, her eyes shining with delight. "It was wonderful, Logan. I laughed and cried and laughed some more."

"Wish I coulda seen it," he told her softly, a trace of sadness in his voice.

"Logan, I'm…"

"Refill?" came the question from the tall, busty blonde, with a smile as big as her heart.

Rogue frowned at the interruption, knowing the moment to apologize was lost… for now. "No thanks, Trish," she finally answered as she covered her coffee cup. "If I don't stop now, I'm gonna float away."

The waitress just widened her smile, somehow pleased that the woman had taken the time to recognize and call her by name. "What about you handsome? You need a refill?"

"No thanks," Logan said as he winked. "Can't go floatin' without her."

Trish just nodded as she walked away, heading toward the next patron to offer up the same black liquid.

Logan dug into his jeans to get the money out to pay for breakfast, stopping Rogue before she had the chance to pay for her part. "On me," he told her, throwing some cash, with a hefty tip, onto the table.

"Thanks," she said sweetly as she stood from her seat and followed him outside.

Now sitting in her old red convertible, Rogue watched as Logan started his newly beat up motorcycle.

"Ready to go?" he yelled over the roar of the engine.

"Ready as I'll ever be," she yelled back with a smile.

"Well then," he told her as he revved his engine, "let's go home."

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	11. Chapter 11

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… **CHAPTER ELEVEN …**

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**= Xavier's School For Gifted Youngsters =**  
**= Westchester, New York =**

Rogue stood nervously at the main door of the mansion, hands sweaty and heart racing.

"You okay?"

"I don't think I can do this, Logan." She was shaking her head as she turned to face him. "This was a mistake."

"No, it wasn't," he assured her as he brought his hands to clutch each arm. "Marie… they think you're dead. You really gonna let 'em go on thinkin' that?"

"No!" she yelled. "But, you could tell 'em and I'll just head back to..."

"Oh no you don't!" His voice was stern, but Rogue heard the desperation edging it's way through. "You're not leaving, Marie."

"Marie," she thought to herself. _"Why does he insist on calling me that?"_

"Fine!" she huffed, reaching for the doorbell.

Logan started to laugh. "Darlin', I live here… you don't have to do that."

"Oh," she whispered, slightly embarrassed.

She watched then as Logan moved past her, turned the knob of the large wooden door and stepped inside. He turned back then, smiling softly. "C'mon," he whispered. "I'm right here with you."

Cautiously Rogue followed him, eyes darting everywhere, surveying all areas that could be potential escape routes.

"Anybody here?" Logan yelled out, knowing that there were only a handful of people occupying the school grounds at the moment, the rest would be here in the following week. He was grateful for that, he realized, too many people might have sent Rogue running for cover.

"Wolvie!" was the first sound that erupted from inside the mansion.

"Jubilee," he whispered, receiving a knowing nod from Marie before scanning the area in an attempt to find the little firecracker.

In a flash, the owner of the voice came sliding down the banister, landing in front of them in a wave of yellow. "Wolvie, where'd you…"

In an instant, Jubilee's voice trailed off as she stared at the woman standing beside the King of Claws. "Rogue?" she whispered, removing the pink colored sunglasses that adorned her face. "Is that yo…"

_… thud …_

"Jubes!" Rogue yelled as she watched her friend fall backwards, thankful that the large area rug had been there to provide some sort of cushion.

"Jubilation Lee," Rogue yelled again, dropping to her knees beside her friend as she looked up at Logan. "Ya gonna help her or are ya just gonna stand there?"

Logan crossed his arms, a slight smirk on his face. "I think I'll stand here." But, when he received a menacing glare from Rogue, he added, "Just give her a minute and she'll be fine."

He was right. A few seconds later, Jubilee rose to a sitting position while she coughed and sputtered. "I…" she choked out as she turned to look at Rogue. "Think I swallowed my gum."

Rogue smiled nervously as Jubilee's eyes moved from her to Logan… to her… to Logan… to her…

"Oh for cryin' out loud, will ya just say somethin' already!" she half yelled, unable to take the silence anymore.

"But, you're… Am I…" Jubilee put her hand up as if to touch Rogue's face, but stopped just inches away from making contact.

"Spit it out, firecracker," Logan said with a smirk.

"Dead," Jubilee sputtered out. "Am I dead? Did I die? Oh God," she rambled. "I choked on my gum, didn't I? I choked on my gum and now I'm dead."

Rogue looked up at Logan and gave him a "is she serious?" look, but said nothing.

"You're not dead," Logan grumbled, watching as the lovable brat tried to comprehend what was going on.

Rogue swallowed hard as she watched Jubilee stare her down. "You're not dead?" she asked, tears filling her eyes.

"No," Rogue said softly. "Alive and kickin'."

"But, everyone said…"

"I know, Jubes. I didn't know anythin' 'bout that."

"Roguey…" Jubilee whispered as her arms wrapped around the southern belle and held tight. "Don't you ever scare me like that again!"

"Yes, ma'am," Rogue teased, allowing her friend a brief moment of bossiness.

Logan wasn't sure how long the little reunion on the mansion floor might have lasted if not for the interruption by someone clearing their throat. All three heads turned toward the hallway, where they saw Ororo, staring at them blankly while she stood next to a large, blue man.

Rogue and Jubilee immediately rose to their feet, wiping away fresh tears as 'Ro and Hank crossed the room.

After a moment of awkward silence, Hank decided to break the ice. "I don't know if you remember me…" he began.

"Dr. McCoy, right?" Rogue interrupted, giving him a friendly smile.

"Yes," he said, quite pleased with acknowledgement. "I am beyond delighted to see that rumors of your demise were untrue."

"Thank you," she told him nervously, still waiting for the weather witch to speak.

Logan sensed Rogue's growing apprehension and stepped to her side. "Ro," he mumbled, seeming to break her from whatever trance she had been in.

"These past years have been yard," Ororo said softly. "Many good friends were lost along the way."

Rogue dropped her head, suddenly feeling ashamed.

"But," she continued, "It is good to see that we have one less friend to mourn."

"Come," 'Ro ordered, after giving Rogue a lengthy hug. "We must tell the others."

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**= The Library =**  
**= 20 Minutes Later =**  
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It was Peter who entered first, rubbing his eyes briefly as if to make sure he wasn't seeing things, before hoisting Rogue high in the air while he muttered something in Russian. Though no one knew what he said, the smile on his face let Rogue know that he was happy at her apparent return from the dead.

The next two that entered, hand in hand, had not been so easy to read. Kitty and Bobby walked in laughing, but the minute their eyes caught sight of Rogue, the smiles faded from their faces.

When neither person made an attempt to speak, Ororo stepped in to take over the situation, telling them that obviously reports of Rogue's death had been a mistake and then asked the woman in question to elaborate. So, she did.

For the second time in less that 24 hours, Rogue told how she had left the mansion, moved to West Virginia and worked in a little diner where she met someone who helped her learn how to control her skin. Logan added the details of how he'd found her at the motel and that Rogue had been unaware that she had been presumed dead.

Bobby, who had been glaring at Rogue through the whole "explanation", finally gave voice to his anger. "So, you mean to tell me that these past two years you were just off living the good life while the rest of us were here, grieving for you?" The word "grieving" had rolled off his tongue with a particularly large amount of venom and Rogue had flinched.

"I didn't know," she told him, eyes staring at the carpet.

"Right," Bobby taunted. "Well, that just makes it all better, doesn't it?"

"Bobby, please," Kitty begged. "Calm down."

"Hell if I will," he yelled.

"Cut it out, Bobby," Peter warned his friend. "You're being a jerk."

"No!" he yelled. "Rogue runs off, doesn't tell a soul where she's going, Logan here thinks she's gone to take the damn cure and the next thing you know, we all think she's dead. Never once did she try to get in touch with us and we're supposed to believe that she didn't know what was going on here?"

"I did try," Rogue finally defended. "I texted Jubilee the day after I left. I sent the address of the place I would be stayin' and everythin'. Jubes, tell him!"

Jubilee sat up a little straighter in her chair as she tried to figure out what to say. "Chica, I never got a text from you."

"But…" Rogue began, looking to Logan for support. "I really did send the information." Glancing back at Jubilee, she pleaded. "Think Jubes, are ya sure ya didn't get a message from me the day after the Professor's service?"

Jubilee sat quietly with a finger tapping gently against her chin as she tried her best to recall the events of those horrible, horrible days. Suddenly, as if she'd been struck by lightning, she bolted from her seat. "Wait!" Jubes yelled, "I think I remember!"

Rogue gave a hopeful smile to her friend.

"That was the day after I got into a fight with Lenny… or was it Benny?" Jubilee asked herself as she began to pace the room, trying to recall the man's name.

"Jubes!" came a chorus of voices, bringing her back to the task at hand.

"Right," she told them as she waved her hands wildly through the air. "He and I were arguing. I was upset about the Professor and Kenny, oh yeah that was his name," she said with big eyes smiling. "Anyway, Kenny was being a jerk, so I sparked up and caught his DS on fire. He got even by melting my phone."

Questioning eyes still didn't see where this was leading and Jubilee wondered just how dense they all were. "Dudes, he killed my phone. Like, melted the Sims card, lost all my information, had to buy a new phone, kind of killed." She turned to her friend then, "Roguey, I'm so sorry. I never got the message."

"I just thought ya didn't want to talk to me," she confessed.

"Never!"

"Well, isn't that just precious?" Bobby mocked.

"Watch it, bub," Logan warned, adamantium claws itching to slice and dice the little ice prick.

But, Bobby was too caught up in his anger to take heed to any warnings. "You mean to tell me that you texted her once… ONCE and that was it? What about your phone, Rogue? What about when we tried to call you?"

"I cancelled my service here, Bobby," she told him calmly. "No need payin' a bill in New York when you're gonna be livin' in West Virginia. So, I had the phone deactivated once I made it to Keeling. Besides, I had left my new number and address with Jubilee before I terminated the account, so I thought I was covered. I didn't know that she never got the message or that a clinic was gonna get bombed."

"Convenient," he mumbled.

"Oh yeah, Bobby," she said, oozing sarcasm. "That was my plan along. Hell, didn't ya know… I was the one that planted the bomb at that clinic. It was all part of my master plan to make y'all think I was dead."

"Wouldn't put it past you," he told her.

Everyone watched as Bobby's last insult visibly shook Rogue.

"You little shit," Logan spouted as his claws came out. It was only the gentle hand enclosing his wrist that stopped him from splitting the popsicle in half.

"Please don't," she barely whispered, the plea stopping Logan from his original intentions, nodding in submission as she slipped her hand back onto her lap.

"What did I do to ya that was so bad, Bobby?" she asked, her voice low and rimmed with sorrow. "Was it leavin' without tellin' ya? Bein' weak enough to feel like I was a liability to the team because my heart and mind weren't in the right place? Or was it realizin' you were in love with someone else and wantin' ya to be happy? Tell me, Bobby. What was it that made ya think so little of me?"

Bobby was speechless at her words, anger subsiding as he realized he was purposely hurting someone he had once cared for. He could see the carnage of his rage staring back at him through his friend's brown eyes and he was ashamed. "Rogue, I'm …"

Rogue shook her head "No", telling him to stop as her left hand slipped into her back jean pocket, sliding out a piece of tattered yellow paper. "No longer obedient, belonging, or accepted," she read aloud. "It was a definition listed for the word Rogue. I wrote this down the day I left. And ya know, it's exactly how I felt the night I left here."

Rogue rose to her feet then, dropping the paper to the floor as she moved away. "Ya have to understand," she pleaded to everyone in the room. "My skin was poison, the man who swore to help me was dead, the man I loved, loved someone else, friends were becomin' scarcer by the minute and there wasn't a damn thing I could do to change any of it. I felt… lost."

Her hands were trembling now as she wiped at a falling tear. "I can't change what happened. I can't undo the choices made, rather they were good or bad. Just please, please, know that none of it was done with callous. I was smotherin', ya see? Every day a little bit more than the day before, until one day I just couldn't breathe at all. But, whatever my faults, I never, never intentionally, meant to cause any of you pain."

"I still consider ya my friends," she told them before disappearing down the hall, "even if you don't think I'm yours."

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	12. Chapter 12

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… **CHAPTER TWELVE …**

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**= Xavier's School For Gifted Youngsters =**  
**= Westchester, New York =**

"What the hell was I thinkin'?" Rogue asked herself as she slipped into the driver's seat of her convertible. "Did I think that everyone was just gonna be happy to see me? That everythin' would just go back to the way it was? What fairytale did I think I stepped into?"

One shaky hand started the car as the other clutched the steering wheel. "Well, screw it!" she shouted as threw the car into reverse.

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"You son of a bitch!" Logan yelled as he extended his claws. "I oughta gut you!"

Bobby backed away, expecting the man seething with anger, to make good on his threat. "I didn't mean to hurt her!"

"Yes, you did!" Jubilee screamed.

Grabbing an arm, Peter tried to stop Logan from reaching his intended victim. "You need to calm down, comrade."

"Hell if I will!" Logan growled in response. "He's acting like he would have preferred her dead."

Bobby shook his head in defense. "That's not true!"

Hank moved to act as an obstacle in the Wolverine's path. "Perhaps we should all take a moment to let cooler heads prevail."

Logan let himself calm enough to retract his claws allowing Peter to step from him. "Damn it all to hell, Bobby, what were you trying to prove by acting like that?"

Bobby just dropped his head. "I wasn't trying to prove anything. I was just..."

"Cruel?" Jubilee asked with sarcasm, crossing her arms to further her point. "Or if that doesn't work, how about malicious? Vindictive? Mean? Nasty? Spiteful? Heartless?"

'Ro moved to place a hand on the younger woman's shoulder. "Jubilee, I do not think that now is the time to turn into a walking thesaurus."

"Hmph!"

"She's right," came a timid voice from the corner.

"Kitty?" Bobby asked curiously as he turned to face her.

"You were intentionally cruel to her, Bobby. And, she didn't deserve it."

Bobby felt the words sting him. He knew he'd been wrong, but hearing it from the woman he loved drove the point home a little deeper.

Moving to sit beside her, he covered her knee with his hand and squeezed. "I know, Kitty. I don't know what came over me."

Logan crossed the room in four large strides. "I don't have time for this."

"Let me," Bobby pleaded. "Let me talk to her."

"No chance in hell, bub!"

Feeling the need to do damage control, Ororo intervened. "Perhaps it would be best, Logan. At least give him the chance to make amends."

Knowing that they were losing valuable time, Logan gave in. "Fine," he growled as moved to stand directly in front of Bobby. "But I'm warning you now… you come back without her, you're losing a limb."

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Bobby made his way out of the mansion in record time. Stepping outside the large wooden doors he was ready to chase after Rogue, but instead found her sitting on the ground by a car with freshly slashed tires.

"Wolverine," he mumbled. _Couldn't he have waited just a few more minutes?_

For the first time that day Bobby really looked at the woman who had been on the receiving end of his tirade just moments before. Suddenly, he found it hard to breath. Rogue's back was against the car door, knees bent and arms crossed atop them. Dark brown hair, several inches shorter than the years before, fell loosely over her shoulders. He smiled at the ever-present white streaks that framed her face. She looked a bit thinner as well, but the curves he'd so loved still seemed to be in all the right places. All in all, Rogue looked as beautiful as ever. Beautiful and miserable. Regrettably, he contributed the last part to himself.

"Here for round two?" she asked with uncertainty, unknowingly bringing Bobby out of the daze he'd been in.

"Not really up for it," he admitted as he stepped closer to her.

"Yeah, me either."

He motioned toward the empty spot on the ground beside her. "May I?"

She snorted with slight amusement. "Ya live here, Bobby. I'm pretty sure you're allowed to sit wherever ya want."

Bobby didn't bother to try and respond. Instead he just slid down next to her, positioning his body much the way Rogue had her own.

"Sorry about earlier."

Rogue just nodded. "Don't worry 'bout it."

He shifted his body a little, in an attempt to see her more clearly. "I mean it, Rogue. I shouldn't have acted like that."

Fidgeting with the frayed edge of her jeans, Rogue refused to look at him. "Ya got every right to feel however ya wanna feel, Bobby."

"I don't even know why I was so angry," he admitted. "I just felt so, I don't know… betrayed, maybe?"

"But why?" Finally, big brown eyes turned to stare a hole through him. "I didn't know that everyone thought I was dead. Do ya really think I would have let y'all believe that?"

"No. I know you wouldn't." Frustrated, Bobby let his head fall back against the side of the car. "It was just easier to think that you were dead, I guess, than to think you walked out on us. On me."

"Bobby…"

"Silly, huh?"

"No, it's not silly." Now Rogue was the one to drop her back against the car. "When I left… I felt like everyone had walked out on me, except none of ya had the decency to do it physically. Emotionally, everyone I was close to was gone…'cept Jubes."

"What about me?"

Rogue sighed. "Bobby… we were over long before I left. You know it and I know it. We were just too stubborn to admit. Seeing you with Kitty, that night and again today, only proves my point."

Icy blue eyes peered at her questioningly. "What night?"

"The night I left."

There was still a question in his eyes, then a sudden realization. "You saw us skating?"

"Yeah."

"Rogue, we didn't do anything."

"I know ya didn't," she assured him. "But you wanted to."

He frowned then. "Is that why you left?"

"No!" she blurted out. "Well, maybe a little. But, not for the reason you think. It was knowing that I was never gonna have that kind of love. Ever. Not with you, not with Lo…" She stopped herself before his name was fully out of her mouth. "Not with anyone. Everything just seemed to be fallin' apart and I was fallin' apart with it."

"I wish I'd known."

"Hey now, it worked out for the best now didn't it?" Rogue teased as she nudged his side. "You're happy with her ain't ya?"

"Yeah."

"Love her?"

"I do," he told her, almost feeling guilty at the admission.

But, Rogue just smiled. "That's all that counts then."

Shaking his head, Bobby groaned. "It's not all that counts, Rogue. What about you?"

"I'm good," she told him as she rose to her feet, Bobby following close behind. "I mean come on, I'm lookin' damn good for a corpse."

For the second time, Bobby let his eyes take in the beautiful southern belle and he smiled. "That you do."

"Aww, thank ya, sugar."

She watched then as seriousness settled on his features. "I'm sorry, Rogue. About before, and about the thing with Kitty."

"I'm sorry too," she told him. "I shoulda stayed here and been strong enough to just open my mouth and say, "this ain't workin' out", but I didn't. Instead, I ran." A faint smile showed on her face. "It's the one thing I know I'm good at."

"And you were gettin' ready to do it again, huh?"

"Yep."

"I guess it's a good thing Logan slashed the tires then."

"Logan?" Rogue asked, her brow arching as she questioned Bobby.

"Didn't he cut the tires?"

Rogue laughed as she shook her head "no". Slipping her hand into her boot, Rogue pulled out the knife that she kept tucked there. "I did it."

"You?" Bobby asked, shock on his face. "But why?"

"Because I'm tired of runnin'."

Bobby smiled. "Well then, I guess there's something I should tell you."

Nervously, she looked at Bobby, bracing herself for the bad news. "What is it?"

"Welcome home."

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	13. Chapter 13

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**- - - - :: - - - - :: - - - -**

… **CHAPTER THIRTEEN …**

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**= Xavier's School For Gifted Youngsters =**  
**= Westchester, New York =**

Bobby and Rogue walked back into the Library and were met by a multitude of concerned faces, but one stood out…

Immediately Logan was at her, his hand on her arm as he bent a little to look into her eyes. "You okay, darlin'?"

"I'm fine," she told him. "Nothin' to worry about."

"You sure?" he asked, seeming not to care who saw this moment of tenderness.

"Logan, I'm fine. Bobby and I just had some things to clear up. We're good now."

Logan's eyes moved from Rogue's to Bobby's and then back to her. "I'll still kick his ass if you want me to."

Bobby stiffened and Rogue grinned. "Nah, but I'll take a rain check."

Logan allowed himself to smile then, winking at her as he squeezed her arm. "Deal."

Breathing a sigh of relief, Ororo watched the tense mood of the room suddenly ease. "Well, now that that's taken care of… I do believe this calls for a celebration."

Kitty clapped, Hank "concurred", the "boys" nodded, and Jubilee squealed with delight, but Rogue just stood silent, Logan's eyes searching hers for truths she was still unwilling to tell.

Unable to take the aching feel of his eyes upon her, Rogue broke eye contact and then watched with slight disappointment as Logan moved away from her. "Ya really don't have to do anything, 'Ro. It's just another day."

"Another day?" Ororo repeated. "Rogue, today is anything but. We have much to celebrate. Though, I have to admit, with just the eight of us, it won't be much of a party. But, perhaps a special dinner will suffice?"

"Really, ya don't have to."

"My dear," Hank interrupted, glancing momentarily at his fiancé before turning his attention back to the younger woman. "I have first hand knowledge of the fact that it is best not to argue with Ororo when she has her mind made up. Especially when she can strike you with a bolt of lightning."

Rogue fought the urge to laugh at the visual she now had of a very large blue fur ball being lit up like a Christmas tree. Instead, she nodded her understanding and surrendered to the weather witch.

"Excellent," came the reply followed by a loving smile.

The room was suddenly alive with movement as Kitty moved to talk privately with Bobby. Jubilee had joined 'Ro and Hank to discuss the plans for that night's dinner and Peter had engaged Logan in some chatter about a recent sporting event. Suddenly, Rogue felt herself feeling much like she had before she left… somehow on the outside looking in.

Making her way across the room. Rogue came to stand by Storm and the others. "Umm, 'Ro?"

The beautiful white haired woman stopped her planning and looked up at her. "Yes?"

"Is it okay if I just look around a bit?"

"Rogue, you should know better than to ask. Take all the time you need."

"I guess I should have asked if it was okay for me to stay here before I slashed my tires, huh?"

"You know you don't have to ask…wait, you slashed your tires?"

Rogue gave a slight grin. "Long story."

"I can only imagine," Ororo teased, returning the smile. "Rogue, you are always welcome here, for whatever length of time you prefer to stay."

"Thanks. So umm, where do I sleep?"

"Well, there are only five rooms currently occupied, so everything else is available for your choosing."

"I guess I'll get to choosin' then," Rogue teased before turning and disappearing into the hallway, never noticing the set of hazel eyes that watched her go.

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Rogue let her fingers run gently across the wooden banisters that led to the upper levels of the mansion. She had touched the wood beneath her fingers a million times, yet the only time she could ever remember touching them without her gloves had been the night of Stryker's attack, and that was too hurried to enjoy it. Today though, today she could run her hand across the smoothed wood as she took one step and then another and could relish in the silky smoothness that her gloves could not relay to her.

Touch… she wondered if she would ever get used to it again. There were always certain things that she could feel even when she hadn't controlled her skin, but now… when everything was offered up to her with no restrictions, Rogue was almost like a kid in a candy store. Fabrics, foods, wood, grass, all of it had taken on a whole new meaning when she was allowed to just "feel" instead of worrying that someone would come along and touch her. There was a freedom in it, a freedom she never wanted to take for granted.

As she walked down the hallway, Rogue let her hand glide across the wall… hearing the small sound her fingers made as it slid across the structure. She wondered aimlessly through the halls. Left, right, another right. She didn't know where she was going until she found herself standing in front of a familiar door.

Images of the night she'd left flashed through her mind as she turned the metal knob, allowing her access to the room. Stepping inside, Rogue reached for the light switch by the door, never missing a beat as she moved further into the space. What she saw drew a gasp from her that she'd fought hard to suppress. The room that had once been her sanctuary and her prison looked exactly the same.

A small map with thumbtacks piercing it still hung above the bed. A cluster of books ranging anywhere from Robert Frost to Stephen King sat nestled on the tiny bookshelf at the corner of the room. A pair of silver hoop earrings lay on the nightstand. It was as if she'd never left.

But, there were other things in the room that let her know that someone had been here. Piles of folders were strewn across the wooden desk. The bed was wrinkled, and a little disheveled, as if someone had haphazardly tried to make it, but wasn't all that concerned. An ashtray peeked out from behind a lamp on the nightstand, and suddenly Rogue knew exactly who had been in the room.

"Thought I might find you here."

The deep voice from behind her, frightened Rogue enough that she actually jumped and thought her feet came up off the floor.

"Jeez Logan! Don't sneak up on me like that!" She hated just how stealthy quiet he could be.

"Sorry," was his response though the smirk on his face suggested that he was anything but. "What're doin' in here?"

\ "I was just walkin' around, found myself here."

Again, that smirk. "So, you like sneaking into other people's rooms?"

"Looked like my room." A look of confusion plastered to her face.

"What can I say, I liked the décor," he told her, arms coming to cross in front of him.

"Oh yeah? And just when did you start wearing earrings?"

Her response came in the shape of an eyebrow that almost touched his hairline. "Who said they were mine?"

Immediately, her mind flashed to images of Jean and Logan together. As if a ton of bricks had crashed on her, she suddenly realized that the hoop earrings that she thought she'd left behind may have belonged to some woman that Logan had been with. The bed in its tousled state could have been from a one night stand and suddenly her defenses were up, and she moved to walk past him. "Sorry."

She felt his hand on her arm almost in the instant the word had come out of her mouth.

"Hey." Logan felt her movements stop, but she still wouldn't face him, so he moved to face her. "What's goin' on in that pretty little head of yours?"

Silence.

"Talk to me," he pleaded, realizing he seemed be doing that a lot lately… especially where she was concerned.

"It's nothin'. It's just… odd… bein' here again."

"You lookin' to run?"

Rogue saw the apprehension in his words, the nervousness that could suddenly be seen in his hazel eyes.

"No," she told him, unable to look him in the eye any longer. "I'm just facin' some old demons, is all."

"Oh." Still, he did not move his hand from her arm, causing her to eventually look down at it.

"Plannin' on lettin' me go anytime soon?" The question was asked with a hint of sarcasm and jest, but the answer used neither.

"No, darlin'. Not plannin' on lettin' you go ever again."

Somewhere during this little talk, the hand that clasped her arm was caressing it instead, the shivers it caused reaching all the way down to her toes.

Damn him for playing with her heart. He did it with such ease that Rogue wondered if he was even aware of it anymore or if it just came second nature to him.

"I…"

"Yeah?"

"I gotta find me a room."

"You can stay here," he told her, his voice low and edged with wanting. A wanting that Rogue seemed oblivious to, her eyes sparked with challenge instead of acknowledgement.

"Your room now, remember?"

"I don't mind sharing," he teased, his body inching closer to hers with each word that escaped his lips.

"I'm sure you don't," she said hissing sarcasm. "But, I wouldn't want to deprive anyone the privilege of being a notch on your belt."

That cut him, she could tell. She hadn't meant it to, that's a lie, that's exactly what she meant to do, but now she was regretting it.

"Never claimed to be a saint, kid."

"Now we're back to kid?" Rogue could feel the anger rising in her now, scratching and clawing trying to reach the surface. "In case ya haven't noticed, I'm not a kid, and I haven't been for quite some time."

"I didn't mean nothin' by it."

"Ya never do," she told him, eyes full of fury. "I'm gonna go find me a room now."

As Logan watched her leave the room, a frown on her face and a growl in his throat, he couldn't help but ask himself. "What the hell just happened here?"

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	14. Chapter 14

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… **CHAPTER FOURTEEN …**

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**= The Woods Behind Xavier's School =**  
**= Westchester, New York =**

"Damn him," Rogue yelled as she swatted at a tree limb. "Damn him, damn him, damn him!"

How was it that in the course of five seconds Logan could leave her wanting, hopeful, full of despair and ready to scream? Only he could do that. Only him and that damn smirk!

"And that flippin' eyebrow!" she added as she flopped down under a tree.

Her attention was immediately drawn to a squirrel scurrying away. "Aww, wait," she pleaded, "Come back!" But, the creature just disappeared giving her no thought at all. "Figures," she grumbled.

A few seconds later, Rogue's smile returned as the squirrel reappeared, steadily moving closer to her. "Hey little fella," she greeted sweetly. "Sorry if I scared ya earlier, it's just… man trouble, ya know?"

The animal seemed to accept her apology and edged a little closer. Rogue gradually moved her hand to pick up an acorn. "Here ya go," she whispered, palm held out, offering the nut as a small gift. "He just drives me insane. I don't know if I wanna kiss him or kill him."

Rogue smiled brightly as the squirrel moved cautiously to take the acorn from her hand. "See there," she whispered. "I'm not as bad as ya thought, huh?" The animal answered by allowing her to run the tip of her index finger across the end of it's tail.

"Ya know squirrel, hmm… I hate to just call ya squirrel. I remember a song my friend's dad used to play all the time. Something like 'Hey Shirley, This Is Squirrely'. He was a truck driver. Anyway, can I call ya Shirley? Would that be okay?"

The squirrel seemed to approve of the name and continued to gnaw away at the acorn shell. "Anyway Shirley, I've loved him for as long as I can remember," she admitted as she continued to pet the animal. "But, he's never gonna feel the same way."

"Do ya know what he did earlier? He called me a kid! Kid," she repeated. "Can ya believe that?" Shirley tilted her little head. "I know, right? Do I look like a kid to you?"

She sighed deeply as she continued to study her newfound friend. "I'm never gonna make him see me as a woman am I? God, Ah feel like Laura Ingalls when she was tryin' to get Almanzo's attention. Ya know, in that episode where Charles hits Almanzo because Nellie lied and said she saw him kiss Laura? But really it was just a kiss for good luck, not a kiss kiss. Anyway, Almanzo tells Charles that he would never… because Laura was just a little girl. And, Laura gets all mad and says, 'I'm A Woman! A Woman!'. Did ya ever see that episode?"

Rogue looked down at the squirrel and shook her head. "Of course ya didn't. Well anyway, that's just how I feel. Like I could scream it at Logan until I turned as blue as ol' Hank and he still wouldn't notice."

"Men," she mumbled as she leaned back against the tree. "I bet you don't have that problem, do ya?"

Shirley made a noise that Rogue assumed was a "heck no!". "Yeah, I knew ya wouldn't."

Rogue continued to lean against the tree. "I just don't know what to do, Shirley. Sometimes I think he's flirtin' with me, and then other times I think it's my imagination. And, if he is flirtin', is he just flirtin' because I'm a girl, or because it's me?" She sighed then. "Am I makin' any sense at all?"

Shirley barely acknowledged her this time, choosing instead to continue her work at removing the shell from her acorn. "A part of me wants to tell him that I love him. That I've always loved him. But… he never wanted to hear it before, what makes me think he'd want to hear it now?"

Rising then, Rogue watched her furry friend move away a bit, still cautious of the human in front of her. "Anyway Shirley, I appreciate ya givin' me a second chance and for listenin' to me." Rogue scanned her surroundings to make sure no one was around to hear. "And, if you're the one that Logan was talkin' about… thanks!"

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The rest of the day went quickly it seemed. The women of the mansion chose to steal Rogue away the minute she stepped back in the mansion, while the men chatted it up with Logan. By the time dinner was ready, everyone was freshly dressed and gathered in the small dining room where they could be more comfortable.

Dinner consisted of a Caesar Salad, Filet Mignon with Mushroom-Wine Sauce, Roasted Asparagus and Bananas Foster for dessert and the next hour was spent devouring it. The two hours that followed that were consumed with drinking wine and filling each other in on what had been happening both currently and over the past few years.

Jubilee talked of finishing school and the three guys she was currently dating, none of which were really "doing it" for her. Peter spoke of visits to Russia and of a girl in town that he was trying to woo. Hank told of his political disappointment and how connecting with 'Ro had let him know where he needed to be. Then he beamed about a new experiment that had given him very promising results. Ororo gushed over wedding plans and how well the school was doing. Kitty and Bobby bragged of their almost two-year relationship and of a recent trip to Florida. And Logan? Logan mentioned a bar he'd visited the night before, not really giving much information on what he had done in the years since Rogue's departure and she couldn't help but wonder why.

When it was Rogue's turn to offer up details of her life, she did so, if with some hesitancy. She told them of life in West Virginia and working in the diner. She went through the story of how Ruthie had helped her with her mutation and all seemed amazed that it had taken something so simple to control it. She left out the part where she rarely slept, or how she was still alone, even though now she could be a "normal" girlfriend. Those were things that weren't worth mentioning.

Logan seemed to notice her evasiveness. The way Rogue mentioned things more in general than in specifics, leaving gaps that he had wanted her to fill in, but gathering no more information from her tonight that he had the night before. There was so much that he wanted to say, ask, confess… but somehow, the words just wouldn't come. Instead he made stupid comments that made her angry.

"Well, I hate to break the party up, but I think I'm going to call it a night."

Rogue's eyes met Logan's as Jubilee teased him about being a party pooper. She needed to apologize for her coldness earlier, but how exactly did she explain that she was jealous? Or that she had visions of Jean dancing in her head and it had turned her into a green-eyed monster? Those weren't things that Logan wanted to hear… he never had.

Still… his eyes were on her, giving her a faint smile that she returned with one of her own.

"I do believe that Ororo and I are going to depart for the evening as well," Hank offered up before both he and his fiancé hugged Rogue goodnight and disappeared from the room. Kitty and Bobby followed just minutes later, minus the hugs, choosing instead to just say a hurried "Goodnight" before leaving the group.

Jubilee watched in silence as Rogue and Logan continued their stare down. Suddenly she wished she were able to help the lovesick pair, but wasn't sure how. Huffing, she rose to her feet. "I'll be back," she mocked in her best Arnold voice and slipped out of sight, dragging Peter along with her.

"Sorry about earlier." Logan blurted out, searching Rogue's eyes for some sign of forgiveness. "I wasn't trying to make you mad."

"I know," she told him, and really, she did know that. "I'm sorry too. I'm just a little off kilter here. Still tryin' to get my bearings, I guess."

"So, we're okay?"

Beautiful hazel eyes stared down at her, making her suddenly forget why she was mad at him to begin with.

Logan could smell the change in her scent and it almost drove him to do something stupid… again. "Well, I guess I'm heading to bed."

"Okay," she whispered, dark brown pools shining up at him.

"Marie, I…"

Rogue closed her eyes at the sound of her name on his lips. Why did he have to say her name? Why did it make her weak in the knees? Why…

His arms were around her then, holding her so close she could hear the rapid beat of his heart coming from under his dress shirt. "Goodnight," he spoke into her hair.

Her hands fought to return the embrace he offered, deciding instead to just mumble a "Goodnight," against his chest.

The heat of her breath warmed him through the fabric of his shirt and Logan felt himself harden at the simple action. He screamed at himself to let her go, because if he didn't do it now, he wasn't sure he would. So, reluctantly, his arms loosened from around her and he took a step back.

"Sleep well, darlin'," he told her hoarsely, disappearing from the room, hands clinched into fists and cursing under his breath as Jubilee walked back in.

Rogue stood stunned momentarily. She wanted to go after him. She wanted to find him, hold him, love him and claim him. But, she couldn't, wouldn't. Even if she were willing, he wouldn't be. So, she turned to her friend standing by the door with a wide grin on her face.

"Where's Pete?"

"He went to bed," The lovely young woman dressed in yellow revealed as she moved further into the room, both arms behind her back, trying to hide something from Rogue's view.

"What have ya done now?" Rogue asked as she sat back down at the table.

Jubilee gave a devilish smile as she showed off a bottle of Vodka held in each hand. "Now the real party starts," she warned.

**: - - - : - - - - : - x - : - - - - : - - - :**  
**= Three Hours Later =**  
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"Roguey? Roooooguey," Jubilee called out as she continued to crawl across the floor of her bedroom looking for her missing friend, finally finding the woman in question, slouched against the wall twirling a lock of white between her fingers.

"Roguey? Are you sure you're not mad at me about the cell phone deal?"

Rogue tried to focus on the woman before her, but all she saw was a blinding shade of yellow steadily inching it's way toward her. "No Jubes, I'm not mad."

"You sure?" the woman asked again, stopping inches away from Rogue's face. "Hey, you've got nice eyes… I ever tell you that?"

Rogue giggled. "Yeah, 'bout ten minutes ago and five minutes before that."

"Oh," came the answer followed by another giggle. "Roguey, WHY aren't you mad at me over the phone?"

"Because Jubes," she started as she began to pat the head now planted in her lap. "It wasn't your fault. It was Benny's. Lenny's? Kenny's? What the hell was his name?"

"Kenny," Jubes offered. "No wait… I think it was Benny. Hell, maybe it was Denny?"

Rogue rolled her eyes. "How many men are ya datin' Jubes?"

"Hey, I can't help it if men know that I am a fine example of the female specimen, now can I?"

"Guess not," she told her friend. "Anyway, it wasn't your fault. And, coming from anyone else, I may not have even believed the story. But, coming from you, there was no doubt it my mind that it was the truth."

"Why?"

"Because somethin' like that could only happen to you, Jubes."

Again, a giggle. "Oh God, Roguey… the room is spinnin', make it stop!"

"Can't," she told her, shaking her head. "Just close your eyes."

"Will that help?"

"I don't know," Rogue admitted. "But it can't hurt."

Jubilee nodded and closed her eyes. "Roguey?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you still love him?"

"Yeah," she admitted, knowing, without doubt, exactly who Jubilee was referring to. "I do."

"Thought so." Jubes added as she tried to find a comfortable position on the floor. "You know, he never believed you were dead?"

"Really?"

"Really." Jubilee's eyes slowly opened and she rose to look at her friend. "He never stopped looking for you either."

Rogue stiffened at the admission. "He was lookin' for me?"

"Yeah Chica, like all the time." Jubilee leaned against the wall as she continued. "Every chance he got, he was gone. Alaska, D.C., anywhere he thought you might have went."

"He never said," Rogue whispered as tears filled her eyes. "Why would he do that?"

"Because he loves you, Roguey."

"Stop," she warned. "He doesn't."

"He does!"

"No, he doesn't!"

"Yes, he does!" Jubilee screamed.

"No, he doesn't!" Rogue yelled in a whispered voice. "And will ya be quiet, you're gonna wake the whole house up!"

"Oh my God, what am I gonna do with you two!" Jubilee threw her hands in the air as she shook them. "You and Wolvie are the most stubborn people I've ever met in my entire freakin' life!"

"Well, I love you too, Jubes!" The words from the southern belle were sarcastic, but Jubilee still knew they were true. After all, who couldn't love her?

"I'm telling you, Roguey. HE DOES!"

"No, he doesn't," Rogue told her friend. "I mean, it's a nice thought. A real nice thought, but I just don't think it's true. I think I'm always gonna be a kid in his eyes and nothin' more. Besides, what makes you think he loves me?"

Silence.

"Jubes?"

Silence.

Rogue turned to see the form of a now sleeping/passed out Jubilee and she grinned. "Pitiful," she said with a laugh as she woke her friend long enough to get her into bed, covering her with a blanket. "Goodnight, sweet Jubes."

"Mmmm… ni…" was the reply as Jubilee rolled over in her bed. "Roguey…"

"Yeah?"

"Yes, he does."

Rogue didn't bother to argue this time, she just smiled and left the room.

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	15. Chapter 15

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… **CHAPTER FIFTEEN …**

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**= Xavier's School For Gifted Youngsters =**  
**= Westchester, New York =**

Rogue left Jubilee's room with no real thought as to where she was going. All she knew was that she couldn't sleep, too many thoughts were running loose in her head for that. So she walked… through the halls, the kitchen, the library, the classrooms… eventually finding herself on the balcony, looking out across the lawn. It was there that she saw the large marble markers and could not resist the urge to go to them.

It took only minutes to reach the stones… instantly reading the names written there, one by one. Professor Charles Xavier, Jean Grey, Scott Summers, Rogue.

_"How fitting,"_ she thought. Even in death, she was still a solitary figure. No last name. No real first name. Just Rogue. The only name she'd ever given them… any of them... except him.

Rogue let her hand slide over the chiseled lettering that said her name and felt a twinge of pain in her heart. She knew they had all thought she was dead, but seeing the marble somehow made the moment real to her. Her friends had grieved for her, mourned her loss. She wished a dozen times in the course of that first minute standing there that she had been able to change the way things happened. But, she couldn't.

_"So, you mean to tell me that these past two years you were just off living the good life while the rest of us were here, grieving for you?"_

Even now, Bobby's words hurt her. She knew he was just lashing out, but the words still cut.

_"Oh yeah, Bobby. That was my plan along. Hell, didn't ya know… I was the one that planted the bomb at that clinic. It was all part of my master plan to make y'all think I was dead."_

_"Wouldn't put it past you."_

"I'm so sorry," she cried out to anyone that would listen as her body fell to the ground. "Please forgive me…"

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Logan tried his best to sleep, succeeding for maybe 15 minutes at a time, but that was about it. His mind continued to go over the events that had taken place the last few days. He'd found her. Rogue… Marie. She was alive. And currently, pissed off at him. Correction, she said she wasn't mad, but he knew better than that. He'd struck a nerve with her earlier.

He gave a smirk as he thought about that. He wondered how was it that he had managed that particular feat in such a short amount of time? Oh yeah… he remembered, it was those damn earrings. He wasn't trying to imply that they belonged to someone else, he was trying to tell her that they were hers. That he'd just left things the way she had them because he knew one day she'd be back for them. But somehow, that's not the words that came of his mouth. No, instead he flirted, made some off the wall remark that apparently implied that he'd had a woman in there or some shit like that and Marie had been gone in less time than it took to say, "Dumb ass!"

Logan took a puff off his cigar as he reached for the yellow piece of paper lying on the nightstand. He wondered if Rogue even realized she dropped it when they were in the Library. The words written there had stung him when she'd read them aloud. Staring at them now, knowing it's how she felt the night she left, he worried she'd feel that way again and be gone for good. Somehow, someway, someday, he was going to have to show her that she did belong. She belonged with him.

Speaking of Marie… he wondered where she was now. He'd seen Jubilee trying to hide her stash that she thought no one knew about when he was leaving the dining room. Apparently, the little firecracker had planned on her and Rogue having a little party. But, that was hours ago. And, if the snoring he heard was any indication, Jubes had already passed out. So, where was Rogue? Was she still awake or had she found a different room and was sleeping now? Something told him she wasn't. And, if she wasn't sleeping, where was she?

"Might as well find out," he told himself, slipping on a sweatshirt before leaving the confines of his bedroom.

Quietly Logan walked the halls, following Marie's scent through the kitchen, the library and the classrooms. The scent grew stronger the closer he got to the balcony, so Logan decided that must be where she was. Wrong again. Stepping outside, the cold night air hit him and he felt the goose bumps rise on his arms. "Where is she?" he asked aloud, catching her scent on the wind.

His body stiffened the minute he caught sight of one long leg lying on the grounds below.

"Aww hell," he mumbled, taking in a deep breath before heading out across the lawn.

It took only seconds for him to reach her. Rogue was lying on her back beneath the stone that read her name. The dress she'd worn to dinner had hiked up a bit and revealed milky white skin that made Logan ache. Dark brown hair was fanned out behind her, reminding him of the way kids paint the sun with the rays of light shooting outward. Her small hands were crossed, one over the other, resting on her stomach. She looked beautiful, but he'd be lying if he said it wasn't creepy as hell to see her there.

"What the hell are you doin' out here?"

Rogue's eyes immediately darted open as she heard the stern voice addressing her. Propping herself up on her elbows, she smiled when she finally recognized the large, brooding man leaning over her. "Logan… I thought you were sleepin'?'

"I was," he told her as he bent down to face her.

"What're ya doin' out here then?"

Logan shook his head in frustration. "Finding you, apparently."

"Finding me? I wasn't lost," she teased.

"Funny."

"Aww, Logan. I wasn't hurtin' nothin'," she defended.

"Except yourself?"

"Noooo…"

"You sure 'bout that?"

"No…"

"I swear," Logan mumbled, as he watched the young woman move to sit crossed legged on the grass, deciding to do the same since she appeared to make no effort to move somewhere less "weird". "I haven't stepped foot out here in two years, you're home one night and where the hell do I end up?"

"You've never been out here?"

"No," he admitted as he weighed her reaction. "Why are you out here?"

"Oh come on, It's not everyday you get to visit your own grave." Rogue tried to throw the comment off as a joke, but Logan heard the hurt in her words, saw it in her eyes as well. "Why didn't you ever come to my grave, Logan?"

"Didn't see the point," he told her, pulling on blades of grass in an effort not to look at her. "You weren't here. You were out there somewhere."

"Logan," she whispered, and the pain Logan heard in her voice immediately made his head snap up to look at her. "I really didn't know that ya thought I was dead. Ya believe me right? Ya know I would never… never let ya think…"

Her eyes were filled with emotions that even the night sky couldn't mask. Pain, frustration, humiliation, insecurity, pleas of forgiveness, pleas for understanding, all right there in those chocolate brown eyes.

"I know that, darlin'," he soothed as his hand gently came up to caress her cheek.

"Jubes said you never stopped lookin' for me?"

"I didn't," he told her truthfully, smiling a bit before adding, "I found ya too."

"Why didn't ya tell me that you'd been lookin' for me? Why'd I have to hear it from somebody else?"

"Didn't see any point," he told her, continuing to rub his thumb in small circles on her skin.

"Why were you lookin' for me?"

"Because I didn't think you were dead." His eyes searched hers then, suddenly wanting an answer to a question of his own. "Why did you leave that night, Marie? The real reason this time."

"I told ya the real reason."

"Did ya?"

"Yes!"

"The whole reason?"

Rogue dropped her head. "What is it that you want to hear, Logan?"

His voice was hoarse, struggling to speak. "Only what you want to say, Marie. You said The Professor was dead, friends were scarce and Bobby loved someone else."

"That's not what I said," she whispered.

"Yes, it is," Logan defended. "I was there, I know what you said."

"I was there too, remember?" Rogue snapped, her voice challenging him. "I think I know what I said. And, I never said that Bobby loved someone else. Which he did, but that's not what I said."

"Marie," he warned. "You said that the man you loved, loved someone else…" Realization and a sudden burst of hope were inside him now. "Marie?"

"Logan?"

"Please," he begged and Rogue had never heard him sound so desperate.

"I… wasn't talkin' about Bobby." Rogue was to her feet in the blink of an eye. "There, are ya happy now? You have the truth, do ya feel better?"

Feeling Logan's hand wrap around her wrist, Rogue pleaded for release. "Please," she begged, trying to pry her hand loose from his grip. "Just let me go."

"No darlin'," he told her calmly, rising to his own feet to stand in front of her. "Time to stop runnin'. Time for us both to stop runnin'."

Rogue stared at him, her body trembling.

"Tell me," he whispered.

"NO!" she told him, trying to back away. "I can't."

"Why?"

"Because ya never wanted to hear it before! Because it's never been enough… I've never been enough."

"That's not true."

"Yes, it is!" she screamed, caring not for the tears that now fell down her pale cheek. "You love her!" she told him, pointing to Jean's stone. "You've always loved her."

"I thought I did," Logan admitted. "But, whatever I felt for her is nothing compared to what I feel for you…"

"Don't Logan," she begged. "I can't take pity. Not from you."

"It's not pity," he told her, his free hand reaching for her, only to have her back away from his touch. "It's the truth."

Finally he released her hand, freeing her to do whatever she wanted. "Run or stay," he told her. "Either way, the choice is yours."

Rogue stood silent, her heart beating so fast that she was sure Logan could see the thumping of her chest. But, she made no effort to move. Instead, she stared at Logan, seemingly waiting for him to continue.

"When I realized you weren't coming back… when they all said you were dead…" He shook his head, the thoughts too hard to stomach even now. "It did something to me, Marie. But, I knew you weren't dead. You couldn't be. So, I looked. Every chance I got. For two years I looked. Alaska, DC, Niagara Falls, Laughlin City, anywhere that I thought you might have went. I traced every place you had marked on that map in your bedroom, hoping for some clue that would lead me to you."

Logan paced then, his feet refusing to let him stay in one spot. "I can't even explain what it was that was driving me. All I knew was that I couldn't stop lookin' for you. Then Jubilee had a little meltdown and told me some things… things I didn't know. About Jean… about you…"

Rogue stiffened at the thought of what her friend might have divulged to Logan, especially thinking that she was dead. But, she didn't have to wait long for the answer.

"She basically told me that you felt something for me, but I told her she was wrong. But, it made me realize that I felt something for you. Something I'd hid deep down for a long time, cause it wasn't right."

"Why?" she asked, unable to keep the question from passing her lips.

"Because you were young, Marie. God, you were young. And, a man shouldn't be having feelings like that for a kid." Logan watched her cringe at the word. "I know you're not one now, but rather you want to admit it or not, when we first met… you were. When I came back, I noticed you weren't the kid I'd met in a bar. You'd grown up on me. Hell, how could I not notice after seeing you in that little number the night Stryker attacked? But it still didn't feel right to be having thoughts about you. So, I upped my flirting with Jean. Because it was something simple, something I knew how to do. And it was a helluva lot simpler than trying to explain what I was feelin' for you. Jean was safe. Obtainable. You weren't… on either count."

"That doesn't make sense, Logan."

"When do I ever make sense, darlin'?"

"And the med lab, Logan?" she questioned. "Do ya have any idea what the did to me? How I felt seein' ya with her? Like that? Knowin' that it was somethin' that my skin would never allow me to offer you? Somethin' that you'd never want from me even if I could offer it?"

"No, I don't." His mind wandered then and pictured what it would have been like to be on the receiving end of that deal. "I can't imagine what it felt like for you. All I can do is tell you that I'm sorry. And, that I didn't make love to her."

"I don't want to do this," Rogue whispered, images of the night she saw Logan with Jean tainting her thoughts.

Logan was pleading with her then, closing the distance between them. "We can't keep doin' this darlin'. I know we're good at it. Hell, you and me… we're the best there is at runnin', but we can't. Not this time. Not if we have a chance."

"You want me to just lay it out there? To just say it all, when I've had to bury it for so long?"

"Yeah, I guess I do." Logan stared at her then, eyes shining in the moonlight, standing so close that he could feel the heat of her body warming his own, "Fine… I'll go first."

"I'm yours, Marie." He swallowed hard. "I think I always have been. You had a place in my heart from the get go, I just didn't know what it was. I couldn't, wouldn't see it for what it was. And, I almost lost you because of it. I won't do that again. You don't love me? Fine. But, I'll be damned if I spend one more minute not letting you know what I feel for you. Because right or wrong, praised or damned, it's the truth. God help me, it's the truth. Do you hear me, darlin'? Do you understand what I'm saying? I… Love You."

Rogue pulled away from him then, his words seeming so foreign to her ears that she could barely register them for what they were. Logan watched with bated breath as the woman before him moved away, suddenly realizing that, _"Just because she loved you then, doesn't mean she loves you now."_

"They say there's no such thing as love at first sight." Rogue spoke softly as she kept her back to him. "I say they're liars, they've just never had it happen to them." She turned to look at Logan then. "When I saw you in that cage, somethin' in my heart wanted to be yours." A faint smile was on her lips as she looked at him and Logan returned it with one of his own, though he made no attempt to move closer to her.

Now standing in front of the memorial stones, Rogue's eyes scanned the name of one in particular as she remembered the woman it memorialized. "You crushed me when you looked at Jean the way I wanted ya to look at me. I felt an ache in my heart, Logan. I'd waited and waited for ya to love me, and when I saw you in that lab with Jean… the woman who by all counts had murdered two of our friends… and realized that after all that, that ya still wanted her… I was devastated. Do ya understand that Logan?"

Logan was suddenly behind her, unable to take the distance any more. "I never meant to hurt you," he whispered.

"I know that, but you still did."

"Marie…"

"No…" she warned, turning to face him. "You wanted to hear it, let me say it. For once, just let me get it all out and to hell with the consequences."

"Okay," he said with defeat, understanding that he owed her this moment.

"I left this place because I was a liability to the team as long my head wasn't fully in the game. Leavin' here, as painful as it was, was necessary. If nothin' else, I've learned three things. First… people will always let you down, rather they mean to or not. It doesn't make them bad people, it just makes them human. Second… You had every right to love who you wanted to love… even if it was Jean. I had no claim to you. Never have. And Third… I may have been young, but I still knew the truth."

"And what's that?" Logan asked, his voice begging for words he wasn't sure he'd ever hear.

"The truth is… I love you, Logan. I loved ya then and I love ya now. And, in all the years that have passed, that one truth has remained the same."

His hands were in her hair then, holding her to him as he took in the sight of the woman he loved. "Say it again," he whispered, both unsure if it was a demand or a plea.

"I love you," she told him, watching his eyes shine in a way she never thought she'd see when he was looking at her.

Logan's lips curled into a large smile then, and Rogue looked at him curiously. "What is it?"

"Those are the prettiest words I've ever heard."

Rogue could feel the blush on her cheeks, as she smiled.

"And just in case it needs repeatin'… "

"Yeah?" she questioned, feeling his forehead coming to rest against her own.

"I…"

The heat of his breath was on her cheek as his hand made circles at the small of her back.

"Love…"

Soft lips were lightly brushing against her own, her breath suddenly caught in her throat as she stared up at him.

"You…"

Finally, letting years of fighting the truth fall by the wayside, Logan claimed the mouth of the woman he loved, vowing to never let her go again.

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	16. Chapter 16

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**- - - - :: - - - - :: - - - -**

… **CHAPTER SIXTEEN …**

**- - - - :: - - - - :: - - - -**

**= Xavier's School For Gifted Youngsters =**  
**= Westchester, New York =**

Morning rays of sunshine peeked through the curtains of the bedroom. Rogue shifted slightly and breathed a sigh of contentment as she stared at the sleeping figure next to her. Two days in a row she had woken up to this handsome man at her side and Rogue realized that she wanted it to be that way for the rest of her life.

Events from the night before replayed in her head. Logan had said he loved her. She'd confessed her own feelings for him in return. Then, he'd kissed her. Soft and gentle, easing into long and deep, his tongue invading her mouth and challenging hers to join him in some dance she wasn't sure she knew the steps to. But, he'd shown her. There, on the grave that said her name, Logan had made her understand that this was the beginning of forever.

When he finally broke the kiss, both staggering and breathing hard, Rogue had never wanted him more. He had asked her to spend the night with him, longing for nothing more than her nearness. "I just don't want to let you go, Marie," he'd told her and Rogue had understood the statement because she had felt the same way.

So Logan led her inside, Rogue willingly following him, to the ends of the earth if he had asked. Digging into her old green duffle for a t-shirt and shorts, she watched out of the corner of her eye as Logan slipped off his sweatshirt and settled into the bed. A minute later she disappeared into the bathroom, making quick time of replacing her dress with the cooler, comfier clothing she was to sleep in.

When she'd stepped out of the bathroom, Rogue's eyes immediately caught sight of the earrings on the nightstand, her mind quickly flashing to the events from earlier that day. Logan, seeing this, had no hesitation in correcting his earlier mistake. He told her the earrings were, indeed, hers. He told her of how he had kept the room just the way she had because he had wanted to feel close to her. "And because," she remembered Logan saying, "I knew one day you'd be back." Rogue had never felt more loved in her entire life than at that moment. Someone hadn't given up on her. It was made all the more special in knowing that it was the man she loved.

Nervously, she had walked to the bed and taken her place next to him. Logan had allowed her the space she needed, not wanting to push too much, too soon, but seemed relieved when she had snuggled up next to him, using his arm as a pillow. Rogue had looked up at him, whispering a faint, "Goodnight," before feeling his lips against her own.

"Goodnight darlin'," he had told her, his free arm tightening around her waist. Moments later, she had drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

When morning came, Rogue had woken, rested and happy. She couldn't remember the last time that had happened. Usually her nights were filled with tossing and turning and nightmares corrupting sweet dreams, but not last night… or the night before, for that matter. It seemed that even in slumber, if Logan were with her, she was safe.

_"My hero,"_ she thought to herself, letting her eyes run across the man next to her, suddenly aching to bury her hand in the dark locks of his hair.

"Quit yer starin'," Rogue heard the sleepy voice next to her mumble, his eyes suddenly peering down at her.

"But, it's such a beautiful sight," she teased as she slid up in the bed to be eye level with the object of her adoring glances.

"Uh huh," Logan grumbled before he stretched and yawned. "Sleep well?"

"Very. You?"

"Best sleep I've ever had," he said with a wink. "Or at least the best one I can remember."

Bursting with energy, Rogue jumped from the bed and stood with her hands on her hips. "So, what's on the agenda for the day?"

Logan rolled his eyes. "I thought maybe we could just go back to sleep?"

The frown on Rogue's face told Logan that his idea had been shot down.

"I need to find a room, since this one is occupied."

Logan grinned at the hint of sarcasm that oozed from her sentence. "You can have this one back."

Frustration replaced sarcasm. "I don't want it back," she told him.

Logan immediately moved to sit on the edge of the bed, patting the spot beside him as he asked, "Why not?"

Accepting his invitation, Rogue moved to sit beside him. "It just reminds me of things I'd rather forget about. I've got good memories in this room, but bad ones too."

Logan understood what she seemed to not want to say. "That's fine. We'll find you a different room, if that's what you want."

Rogue turned to look at him then, eyes full of wonder and worry. "I, well… is that what you want?"

With a shake of his head, Logan denied her the response she wanted. "What do you want, Marie?"

"I liked wakin' up with you beside me," she confessed, her eyes suddenly staring a hole through the bottom of the t-shirt.

Logan's hand was under her chin, forcing her to look at him. "I liked that too. I'd kinda like to keep it that way," he finally admitted.

"Me too."

Smiling, Logan kissed her cheek. "So, it's settled."

"But…" Rogue added. "I don't think we should."

"Why not?"

Rogue closed her eyes, emotion overtaking her. "I'm afraid, Logan."

"Of me?" The hurt was so evident in Logan's voice that Rogue had flinched.

"Never," she whispered, her hand coming to rest on his cheek. "I'm afraid of me. Of this."

Instantly, Logan knew what she meant. It's one thing to declare your love in the middle of the night, but nobody ever talks about what comes next. When had anything ever been "storybook" for him, or her for that matter? Why would now be any different?

"I don't want to lose this, Logan. I waited too long. But what if you suddenly decide that I'm not what you want? Two years is a long time to be away from someone. I can be perfect when I'm nothin' but a ghost. The real, live version may be a bit different."

Logan couldn't help but laugh at the notion. "Do you hear yourself? You're worried about falling short of my expectations? Marie, that could never happen. I'm the one who should be afraid. Everyone knows that I'm a mean S.O.B. and hardly worth the time, but here you are… wanting to give me a shot."

"I can't promise…" Marie trailed off, she couldn't even make herself say the words. "I've never been with anyone, Logan."

Suddenly Logan was much more aware of the situation at which Rogue spoke of.

"I'm not sure I'm ready for what comes next."

_Oh, how he loved this woman._ "There's no rush, darlin'."

"But, I know that ya want…"

"You," he interrupted, his answer adamant. "I want YOU, Marie. Everything else? That'll happen when it happens. If you think I want you in my bed, so I can _have you_ in my bed, then…"

"No, Logan. I know… it's just that… well, this is all new to me."

"New for me too," he admitted, a frown settling onto his features. "Listen, you want separate rooms, then we'll have separate rooms. Is it what I want? No. But I'll do what makes you happy, because that's important to me. I just like waking up next to you is all. We'll take it as slow as you want, Marie. Because like I said last night, I'm in this for the long haul. Do we understand each other?"

Rogue felt the tears long before they fell. "Well then, I think we're gonna need a bigger room."

Logan nodded as he let his hand entwine with hers. "Yeah, I think we will."

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Breakfast came with various members of the Xmen gathered together in the kitchen. Hank and Ororo sat next to each other, diligently working the daily crossword puzzle. Peter was eating a bowl of Frosted Flakes while Jubilee sat staring at a half eaten banana, hands covering her ears.

"Pete!" she yelled just as Logan and Rogue entered the room. "Do you HAVE to eat so loudly?"

Peter, stunned by the scolding he'd received, eventually grinned. "Sorry, Jubes," he mumbled before taking a large bite of his cereal, crunching the misshapen forms of flakes as loudly as he could.

"Ugggghh! You're killing me!" Jubilee declared as she dropped her head onto the table.

Hank lightly patted his young friend's hand. "My dear, maybe one should not partake in activities they are not willing to suffer the consequences for the morning after?"

"Really?" Jubes muttered as she raised her head to glare at the man of blue.

"Shake it off, yellow." Logan ordered as he kicked the leg of her chair before sitting beside her with his freshly poured coffee.

His answer came in the form of a "HMPH!"

When Rogue took her seat, Jubilee raised an eyebrow. "This is all your fault," she mumbled.

"Mine? I didn't do anything!"

"Exactly! You shoulda stopped me! I was only drinking to cheer you up."

"But I…"

"Don't let her blame you, Rogue," Ororo consoled. "Once our little Jubilee turned 21, she decided to try and drink Westchester dry, even though she knows good and well that hard liquor is not allowed on the premises."

"I wasn't drinking alone, you know?" Jubilee glared at Rogue.

"True, but I also do not see Rogue biting people's heads off either," 'Ro reminded her. "Which tells me that you, my dear Jubilation Lee, drank the better part of it. And, Rogue has not been here in quite a while, so she may have been unfamiliar with certain rules. You, however, were reminded just last weekend of this very offense."

"You drink wine!" Jubes defended.

"Wine, Jubilee. Wine is not liquor."

"Wolvie drinks beer!" she countered.

"Hey, don't bring me into this!" Logan growled, giving the yellow one a scowl.

"Again, Jubilee… that is not vodka."

"Well…" Jubilee thought hard before she continued. "Pete bought it for me!"

At that, all eyes turned to Peter who had just placed another spoonful of flakes into his mouth. "I'm Russian," he tried to say as he chewed. "I just told her the best one to get."

Ororo gave both culprits a stern look before crossing her arms. "At any rate, last night's adventure was indeed, the last night. Correct, Jubilee?"

"Yeah," came the mumbled response.

"Good," 'Ro said as she gave a small grin, followed with a warning. "Because I'd hate to have to search your room again."

Logan looked at Marie and winked. "Speaking of rooms…"

"Well," he began as 'Ro turned her attention to him, almost amused at how nervous he seemed to be. "I'd… we'd… that is… Mar… umm... me and Rogue … would like to switch rooms."

"You weren't happy with your choice of rooms, Rogue?"

Rogue stiffened as her eyes darted frantically to Logan. "Well… I just… stayed in my old room last night."

Hank looked over the brim of his glasses, Peter stopped chewing, Storm smiled and Jubilee stared at them with her mouth open.

Logan wasted not time taking Rogue's hand in his own. "She and I, we're together now. If that's a problem…"

"No, no! Of course not." Ororo assured as she glanced at Hank. "Everyone deserves a chance at happiness, after all."

"You sure, 'Ro?" Rogue asked, a nervousness that everyone at the table recognized. "I don't want to cause any problems here."

Ororo came around the table and hugged her friend. "It's fine, Rogue. If you ask me, you two sure took long enough."

"Amen to that," Jubilee yelled as she took a bite of her banana.

"Good to see you picked your mouth up off the floor there, firecracker."

"Ha ha, Wolvie," Jubes teased as she stuck her tongue out at him.

All talk halted for the third time that morning, when Kitty and Bobby came in through the kitchen covered in leaves and looking truly disheveled.

"Oh dear," Hank blurted out as he stood from his chair. "What on earth has happened?"

"We, were attacked!" Kitty yelled, as she tried to straighten her frizzed up hair.

"By who?" Logan growled. "Magneto? Sabretooth?"

"No!" Kitty yelled. "Nothing like that."

"Then what, my dear?" Hank asked as he stepped to the couple to inspect their minor cuts.

"A squirrel," Bobby stuttered out as he clutched his groin.

"Bit you?" 'Ro questioned as she picked a leaf from Kitty's hair.

"No, I did that," the petite brunette confessed.

"You bit him?" Logan asked, trying not to laugh.

"NO!" she yelled. "A squirrel jumped on his back as we were jogging. It ran down his leg! I picked up a rock to try to hit it, but the squirrel moved and I… hit Bobby instead."

All of the men in the room suddenly became quiet as if they felt the pain right alongside Bobby.

Hank coughed, but Logan was pretty sure it was to muffle a laugh. "Quite unfortunate," the blue one added a few seconds later. "Quite, quite unfortunate. Come, Bobby, let's go to the med lab."

Kitty followed close behind, Ororo at her side, consoling her.

"I'm telling ya," Logan said as he sat back down and looked at Rogue. "The squirrels around here have gone mad."

"I don't know…" Rogue objected, secretly thanking a little furry friend named Shirley. "They seem all right to me."

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	17. Chapter 17

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**- - - - :: - - - - :: - - - -**

… **CHAPTER SEVENTEEN …**

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**= Xavier's School For Gifted Youngsters =**  
**= Westchester, New York =**

Rogue and Logan promptly found a new room and were moved in within the hour. Sliding the last of the books onto the small shelf, Rogue smiled with contentment as she leaned back against the wall.

Logan moved quickly to sit beside her on the floor, an arm sliding across her shoulders as she leaned into the embrace.

"We're really doing this, huh?"

"You regrettin' it?" Logan asked, the slightest hint of worry in his voice.

"Never," she whispered against his chest. "It's just, it still seems like a bit of a dream. I've thought about this… us … for so long, that it's just hard to believe that it's finally real."

Logan wiggled his eyebrows as he teased the woman in his arms. "Need me to pinch you so that you know you're not dreamin'?"

"Maybe…" she flirted back. "But first, I'd rather ya kissed me."

Logan shifted his body to have a better look at the woman before him, his voice changing from teasing to raspy as his hand began to stroke her cheek. "Now, how could I deny a request like that?"

**: - - - : - - - - : - x - : - - - - : - - - :**

She knew he was there long before he spoke, but waited, giving him the time he needed to make his presence known.

"Thought I might find you in here."

Rogue just smiled as she placed the book across her lap, letting her attention fall on the blonde haired man that stood before her.

"Always was one of your favorite places."

"I guess I just like gettin' lost in the words," she told him simply. "I see you've made a full recovery."

Bobby nodded. "Yeah, no thanks to Kitty and that damn squirrel."

Rogue couldn't help but laugh, remembering that morning's incident.

"So, you and Logan, huh?"

"Yeah," she told him proudly as she tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

"Figures." Bobby grumbled.

"I get the feelin' that you're mad, Bobby."

"No!" he snapped. "Maybe…" he added. "Yes!"

Confusion shown in her big, brown eyes as Rogue rose from her chair. "Why?"

"Because, he's too old! Because, you're too young! Because it's wrong!"

Rogue was to her feet in seconds, her hands on her hips as she stared at him. "First, he is not too old. Second, I am not too young. Third, what exactly is wrong about it, Bobby? That he loves me or that I love him? And, why the hell do you care in the first place?"

Without warning, Bobby leaned forward in an effort to kiss her, but before his lips made contact, Rogue stepped back and stared at him in disbelief.

"What the hell, Bobby?"

"I had to see," he told her, as he leaned back against the mahogany table. "I had to know, for sure."

"Had to know what exactly, ya big jackass?"

"That there was nothing there," he told her, his eyes staring at the floor as he tried to regain his composure. "To know that there was nothing between us."

"I just told you there wasn't!" Rogue shouted as she found a seat across from him, her hands burying in her hair. "And didn't we have a similar conversation just yesterday?"

"Yeah, I guess we did," he mumbled, his gaze never meeting hers.

"I'm sorry, Rogue."

"You're sorry?" she mocked as she stood from the table, moving to stand in front of him. "Twice, Bobby. Twice, I've heard that from you in as many days. I'm gettin' really tired of turnin' the other cheek."

"I don't know what happened," he told her, his voice low and remorseful. "From the minute you stepped back into this place, I've been out of sorts."

Rogue heard the slightest bit of sadness in his words, granted it was mixed with frustration and anger, but still… it was there.

"I don't understand what you're lookin' for here, Bobby. I know, without a doubt that you love Kitty. I can see it when you look at her. And, you know how I feel about Logan. Are you tryin' to punish me?"

"No!" he defended. "I don't know what I'm doing. I'm screwing everything up. I just… I just keep thinking about the way we used to be. Your skin wasn't our biggest obstacle, Rogue. It was Logan. Because, for you, it's always been Logan!"

"Yeah, I guess it has," she admitted, her anger subsiding as she remembered the teenage boy she'd once cared for. "If I ever hurt you, Bobby, I'm…"

"Don't," he warned through gritted teeth. "We both did it. You and I, seems that's all we ever did."

"What?"

"Hurt each other."

The proclamation shocked her, yet sadly seemed to be the truth. In his quest to find love with Kitty, he had hurt her. In her love for Logan, she had hurt him.

"Yeah," she told him, a sudden sense of guilt filling her for the hearts that were wounded in this battle called love. "I guess we did."

**: - - - : - - - - : - x - : - - - - : - - - :**

"That little prick," Logan yelled as he paced across the carpeted floor. "I'm gonna kill him!"

"Logan, stop." Rogue ordered as she watched the brooding man continue his movements. "He was just confused… and angry."

"Well, now _I'm_ angry."

"He has a right to his opinion, you know?"

"HMPH!"

Rogue rolled her eyes in return, crossing her arms as she leaned against the dresser. "You're overreacting, dontcha think?"

"NO!" Logan yelled as his hand ran through his already disheveled hair. "The popsicle yells at you, judges us and wants to decide what's right and wrong. Then, to top the whole freakin' thing off, he tries to lay one on ya? NO! I'm not overreacting."

"Logan, I took care of it."

"Yeah? Well, I'm gonna really take care of it."

Seconds later, Rogue was at his side, one hand on his chest as the other caressed his cheek. "He knows I love you, Logan. And, I appreciate your need to protect me and all, but I can take care of myself, you know?"

"He touched you," he growled as he pulled her closer.

"No… he tried to. Big difference."

"Still…"

She was tenderly kissing his neck then as she stood on tiptoes to do so. Logan leaned into the act of affection as he groaned. "You're tryin' to distract me," he told her.

"Is it workin'?"

Shifting their bodies so he could peer down into her eyes, he smiled. "Yeah."

**: - - - : - - - - : - x - : - - - - : - - - :**

If there was one thing that Rogue missed about being at the mansion, besides Logan of course, it was the path she used to run along. It offered her time to think, to collect her thoughts, to work out her frustration. And today, she was in frustration overload. Physically, emotionally and very, very sexually.

No one ever told her how hard it would be to say "No" to a man she had wanted for so long. But, how could she tell him that she was afraid of disappointing him? Rogue had the images of the women Logan had been with dancing in her head for years now, and she couldn't help but worry that she wouldn't measure up. The thought killed her, but she had to face facts. What did a no experience virgin have to offer a man as sexually knowledgeable as Logan? Her insecurity was on high alert. So, after a long make out session, she had stopped them from going any further. She saw his disappointment, but he had assured her it was okay, and then promptly headed for the showers. Rogue had decided on a run. A very, very, long run.

After covering miles of land and feeling her legs on the verge of cramping, Rogue slowed her tempo, allowing her body to cool down as she stopped by Ororo's rose garden to catch her breath. Spotting Kitty out of the corner of her eye, she could only guess that the woman wanted to add her two cents to the day's earlier events with Bobby.

"You're turn now, huh?"

Kitty shook her head. "I don't want to argue with you, Rogue."

"Good, cause I don't wanna argue with you either."

"I just thought that it was time we talked."

"Okay," Rogue said curiously as she moved to sit on a cement bench, offering Kitty a place beside her as she sat. "What is it that you think we need to talk about?"

"Bobby."

"Bobby?"

"Yeah. He told me about what happened in the Library. He told me about, well, all of it."

"I see," she mumbled as she brought the water bottle to her lips.

"I think he still loves you, Rogue."

Rogue nearly showered Kitty with water. "He loves you, Kitty. Bobby and I… whatever we had, it wasn't love. And, it was over a very long time ago."

"So you're not with Logan just to make him jealous?"

"No! God no! How you could you think such a thing? Logan and I are together because we love each other. Always have, really. And Bobby? Well, he's always really loved you. Whatever he told you that he said or tried to do… it wasn't because he loved me. I think maybe, maybe it was just us finally saying goodbye to those two teenagers who once hoped for something more."

"You sure?"

"Kitty, I'm very sure. I love Logan. In all these years, that hasn't changed. Bobby loved you long before I left this place and I don't think that's changed. He just made a mistake. But, that's it. So, be happy with each other. Once upon a time, we only wanted the best for each other. I still want that for you."

"I want what's best for you too, Rogue."

"I have it, Kitty" Smiling, there was a sense of peace in her eyes that even Kitty recognized. "I finally have it."

"Think we can be friends again?"

Rogue smiled, a sincere smile that Kitty had forgotten she'd missed until this moment.

"When did we stop?"

Kitty laughed as she threw her arms around her old friend. "I guess we didn't. Rogue?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm really glad you're not dead."

Rogue laughed at the statement, returning the hug the small brunette had offered her. "Yeah… me too."

**: - - - : - - - - : - x - : - - - - : - - - :**

He walked the hall, a magazine in one hand and a sandwich in the other. Seconds later, both lie on the hard wooden floor as Bobby was pressed against the wall, two large, metal claws resting under chin.

"You touched my girl," Logan growled as he tightened the hold on the younger man's body.

"Logan, I'm sorry. It was a mistake." Bobby told him as he silently thanked God that the middle claw was still hidden beneath Logan's skin.

"Damn right it was a mistake."

Bobby tried to swallow, but found it difficult with a knuckle pressed against his throat so closely. "I didn't mean anything," he forced out.

"Listen here, and listen good, you cold, little bastard. You talk to her, look at her, hell, even breathe on her the wrong way, and I'm gonna make you regret it. You'll be walking along, thinking you're all safe and well in your pretty boy world and the next thing you know, you won't have legs to stand on. Literally. Understand, popsicle?"

"Yes, Logan."

"Good," Logan told him as he removed the claws and lightly slapped the kid's cheek. "Normally, I like you, Bobby. But…I _love_ her. I'd die for her and I'd kill for her. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good."

After straightening Bobby's shirt, Logan picked the sandwich up off the floor and shoved it into the young X-man's hands. "This is your last chance, Bobby. No more screw ups. You got it, bub?"

Bobby just nodded in response, his free hand rubbing at the red marks on his neck.

"Now get outta here before I change my mind."

As Bobby disappeared down the hall, Logan felt a small hand come to rest on his shoulder.

"Ya just couldn't help yourself, could ya?"

Logan turned quickly, backing the southern bell against the wall before she had time to protest, and claimed her mouth with his. Moments later, both breathing heavy, he stared down into loving eyes and a mischievous smile.

"What?"

"I'm your girl, huh?"

"Thought you knew that," Logan told her with a smirk.

"Yeah… well… it's still nice to hear."

"You need to be reminded?"

"Maybe…" she teased.

Leaning so that his lips were just inches from her ear, Logan nuzzled into her. "You're my girl, Marie."

Laughing, she leaned in to the embrace. "Promise?"

"Yeah," he told her, a moment of their past flashing before his eyes. "I promise."

**:- -: - - - :: - - - : - - - - : - - - :: - - - :- -:**


	18. Chapter 18

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**- - - - :: - - - - :: - - - -**

… **CHAPTER EIGHTEEN …**

**- - - - :: - - - - :: - - - -**

**= 5 months later =**  
**= Xavier's School For Gifted Youngsters =**  
**= Westchester, New York =**

The months passed easily, Rogue thought as she dressed for the evening. After the initial shock wore off, everyone accepted that she was alive and well and now in a relationship with Logan.

When school was back in session, Logan picked up teaching Auto Mechanics and Self Defense Classes, with Rogue as his apprentice in the latter. Along with that, Rogue took some online college courses and taught the piano to those students who were interested. All in all, everything was perfect. Perfect, minus one little detail. Rogue and Logan's relationship had yet to reach the next level.

The fault lay entirely on Rogue's shoulders and she knew it. All the worries she'd had from the very beginning were still the same insecurities she felt now. Logan, God love him, had tried every way possible to make sure that Rogue knew he wanted her and her alone, but still… she worried she wasn't enough. Much to her dismay, Rogue found out that years of feeling "less than adequate" couldn't be wiped away so quickly.

But, their relationship was by no means dull. Far from it, in fact. Days were filled with stolen kisses, long caresses, and an occasional make out session in whatever vacant area happened to be near them at the time. Nights were just as delectable. Nestled close together in the bed they shared, their hands never strayed far from the other's body. When slumber would overtake them, she slept curled up against him, often times his arm as her pillow. Nightmares and sleepless nights now such a rarity, that both were often shocked if one intruded upon them. Everything was just as it should be… except for that one act of intimacy that evaded them…

A knock at the bathroom door brought Rogue out of her self-wallowing and she breathed a sigh of relief.

"Chica? You coming out anytime soon? Kinda like to see you before Wolvie gets here."

Welcoming the distraction, Rogue expected to see her best friend, but was shocked to find three smiling females standing in her bedroom. It seemed Jubilee had decided to bring 'Ro and Kitty along for the show.

Apparently, Rogue deducted, she and Logan getting "gussied up" for a night on the town was a rather momentous occasion. She had to admit, when Logan had proposed a date, she hadn't thought much of it. When he added the words "get dressed up", Rogue had gotten nervous. She was a small town girl, with small town tastes, really. "Dressed up" to her usually meant a nice blouse and skirt, so she was in very unfamiliar territory. Needless to say, panic sat in pretty quickly, which turned into an impromptu shopping spree with the mansion's resident fashionista… a.k.a. Jubilation Lee.

Standing there now, all eyes on her, Rogue's doubts were working overtime. Chewing on her bottom lip, she finally gathered the courage to ask, "How do I look?"

All three women stopped their chattering and looked at the woman before them. Dark chestnut hair was held in a messy bun at the back of her head, while a few wisps of white were falling loose on either side of her face. Her knee length dress was a dark plum with thick, sheer straps that held a slight shimmer to them matching the sheer fabric that lay over the darker plum satin below. With an empire waist, the dress seemed to show off her natural curves and the gray-black high heels added height, though Rogue had yet to walk in them without feeling like she was on the verge of tipping over. All things considered, there was no denying that she looked beautiful, though she looked almost nothing like the woman who had walked into the bathroom just an hour before.

The weather witch was the first to speak, saying nothing more than an "Aww, Rogue." Stepping closer to her friend, she smiled. "You look gorgeous."

"Really?"

"Really."

Kitty spoke next, telling Rogue that she looked amazing.

Jubilee, on the other hand was not quite so subtle. "Va Va Va Voom," she teased as she wiggled her eyebrows. "You're gonna knock his socks off, chica… and maybe a few more pieces of clothing!"

"Oh Jubes," Rogue scolded innocently, a blush creeping onto her cheeks as she walked to the full-length mirror. "I swear, I'm as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rockin' chairs."

"What's to be nervous about, Roguey?"

"I don't know…" she admitted, her hands coming to fiddle with her hair before Jubilee smacked them away.

"Will you stop it? He's gonna be blown away, Roguey."

"You really do look quite wonderful." Ororo added.

She was just about to protest, when she heard a loud knock at the door. She knew without a doubt that Logan was just on the other side and she felt the knots beginning to tie in her stomach.

"That's him," Jubes said as she clapped like a giddy schoolgirl.

"He's knocking on his own door?" Rogue grumbled as she reached for the doorknob. "This is crazy."

Swinging the door open, the southern belle came face to face with a very handsome Logan standing before her. Immediately she let her eyes take in the man before her. His hair was still "Logan-ish", but much tamer than usual, a dark gray button-up shirt hugged his tone form, disappearing inside black trousers that were just as tight, and an ever-present smirk shown on his face. All in all, he looked fantastic.

"Wow," she blurted out. "You look great."

"Don't look so bad yourself," he teased and Rogue watched as Logan slowly scanned her body, making her shiver by nothing more than the look in his eyes as he stared at her.

It took Rogue clearing her throat to bring Logan out of the delicious thoughts he'd been having. Leaning in to kiss her cheek, he finally asked is she was ready to go. She nodded in reply as she took the hand he offered.

"You kids have a good time," Jubes yelled into the hall as they walked away. "Aww… our kids are growing up."

**: - - - : - - - - : - x - : - - - - : - - - :**

The restaurant was an "F", standing for both "fancy" and "French".

After being seated and ordering whatever it was the guy said was the "House Favorite", Rogue looked around the room and began to feel very uncomfortable, with Logan not fairing much better.

"You picked this place?" she asked, looking at Logan with wild curiosity.

"Hank recommended it." His voice was low and showing signs of irritation. "He said 'Ro loved it."

"Oh. Well, it's lovely," she told him, feeling like she was letting him down by not enjoying their date after he had given it such thought.

"You don't like it?" he asked with a furrowed brow.

"I didn't say that." She was backpedaling, and they both knew it. "It's just different… not something I normally would associate with you. Or me, for that matter."

"Shit," she heard him say under his breath.

In no time flat her hand was covering his, rubbing gently as she tried to make him look at her. "Logan, it's fine. I'm sorry if I made you think I didn't like it."

"I was trying to impress you."

"Trying to… what?" she asked with surprise, kicking herself for making him feel bad.

"Hank said girls liked this sort of thing."

Rogue fought the urge to say, "Aww," suddenly understanding that Logan had gone to Hank for "help". "Well now, you know as well as I do, that I'm not like most girls."

"You're my girl," he teased, a smile finally making it's presence known.

"Damn right!" She told him proudly. "And, don't you forget it."

"Wouldn't dream of it, darlin'."

"Ahem," came the interruption as Logan and Rogue looked up at their waiter. "Monsieur, Mademoiselle… pardon ze intrusion."

Placing the food on the fine, linen covered table, Rogue's eyes grew large as she looked at her plate. "Umm, Logan?"

When his own was placed before him, Rogue was sure Logan's eyebrow was large enough to require it's own zip code. "Hold it right there, bub."

"Iz zere a problem?"

"Oh I'd say so! That's… snails on my plate."

"Oui, az you requested, Monsieur."

"I didn't order no snails!"

Rogue poked at her food as she cringed. "Logan, I think we did. We said we'd take the House Favorite. I, think this is it."

"Oh, hell no," Logan growled as he threw his napkin onto the table. "I'm not paying good money to eat somethin' I could pick out of 'Ro's garden."

"Dude, I just bring the food," the waiter spoke, his fake accent gone and a New York one replacing it. "Please don't get me fired."

"Logan, let's just go somewhere else," Marie begged as she tried not to laugh at their current situation.

Unable to resist those coffee colored eyes, Logan caved. "Fine." Glancing up to look at the poor waiter who still stood, unsure of what to do, Logan smirked. "Bag the dinners."

"You're gonna eat it later?" Rogue asked as she scrunched her nose.

"No," Logan answered, a false threat in his voice. "I'm gonna shove 'em down Hank's throat."

**: - - - : - - - - : - x - : - - - - : - - - :**

Logan pulled into the parking lot of the Triple L Tavern. Turning off the engine, he turned to face Rogue with an apologetic smile. "This place okay?" he asked, silently admiring the way the moon seemed to make her skin glow.

"It's fine," she assured him as she unbuckled her seatbelt. "This the one you were tellin' me about?"

"Yeah. We might be a little overdressed, but I don't think they're the kind of people to mind."

Her hand was caressing his cheek before giving him a quick kiss. "Well then, they sound like our kind of people."

7 bottles of Molson's and 3 games of pool later, Logan and Rogue sat at a table in a darkened corner, laughing and joking and telling stories. It was only when a couple descended upon the dance floor that Logan lost Rogue's attention, her focus solely on the swaying bodies, a look of melancholy in her eyes.

"Marie?"

"Hmm?"

"You okay, darlin'?"

Suddenly embarrassed, she gave a faint smile. "I'm fine," she said softly.

"You sure?" There was a look of worry suddenly showing on his features.

"I'm sure."

Motioning toward the couple, Logan smiled. "You act like you've never seen someone dancing before."

"Seen it? Yes." Dropping her head she picked at the label on her latest beer. "Done it? No." Never bothering to look at Logan, Rogue tipped the beer back and took a long swallow.

Logan stiffened in his seat, his mind going in a million different directions. "You're telling me you've never danced?"

"Of course I've danced," she told him as she placed the beer back on the table. "But that was years ago, and always by myself. Never with someone. Never so… close."

"Not even after you could control it?"

"It" being her mutation.

"No," she told him sadly. "Not even then."

Logan shook his head at all the simple things that, even now, he seemed to forget that Rogue had missed out on because of her skin. It didn't take him long to stand, holding out a hand to her as she peered up at him with curious eyes. "Well, allow me to be the first."

"That smile," he thought as he watched her rise from her seat and place her slender hand in his. _"I'd rope the moon if it meant I got to see that smile."_

It wasn't long before their bodies were molded together on the old, wooden dance floor. Logan's hands came to rest on the small of her back as widespread fingers caressed the skin there. Rogue instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck, as she stared up at him.

Leaning in, Logan rested his head against Rogue's as he took in the intoxicating smell that was distinctly his Marie.

Swaying, dipping, moving in small circles again and again, their bodies moved closer and closer together. Rogue closed her eyes, smiling contently as she let herself get lost in the moment. It wasn't long before one trembling hand moved from his neck and caressed his cheek.

"Logan," she whispered, almost like a prayer, soon feeling his lips softly brushing against hers, yet never losing time with the music that still played in the background.

Marie's hands moved and quickly disappeared inside Logan's dark hair as he feasted on her neck, both seeming to forget everyone and everything around him. Suddenly all those fears of not measuring up were gone, and Marie wanted nothing more than to let him claim her.

Again, she whispered his name, watching as Logan reluctantly drew back enough to look at her. "What is it, darlin'?" His voice low and strained as he lowered his ear to her lips, waiting for her to speak.

"Take me home, Logan," she whispered breathlessly, the implications of the words not lost on either of them.

Nodding, he wrapped one large hand around her own and led her outside.

**:- -: - - - :: - - - : - - - - : - - - :: - - - :- -:**


	19. Chapter 19

**:- -: - - - :: - - - : - - - - : - - - :: - - - :- -:**

**- - - - :: - - - - :: - - - -**

… **CHAPTER NINETEEN …**

**- - - - :: - - - - :: - - - -**

**= Xavier's School For Gifted Youngsters =**  
**= Westchester, New York =**

The ride home had been the longest of Logan's life. But, he had been thankful for the time, because it gave Rogue the opportunity to change her mind. As bad as he wanted her, and oh, how he wanted her, Logan had to be sure that this was not a "heat of the moment" decision. Because, if he made love to her and she regretted it, he wasn't sure he would be able to handle it.

But, when they'd reached the mansion, the beauty beside him still had that same look in her eyes and Logan had breathed a sigh of relief.

"Wait here," he told her just as they reached their room.

Rogue gave him a look of surprise, but did as he requested, standing uncomfortably outside the door as Logan disappeared inside. It took only minutes for him to reappear, shoes and socks now absent, and a devilish grin shining on his face as he took her hand and led her inside.

One large candle illuminated each corner of the room, casting dancing shadows across the walls. Moving to stand behind her, Logan dropped his head down to whisper in her ear.

"I want you to trust me. Can you do that, Marie? Just follow where I lead you?"

"I'll try," she told him nervously, uncertainty evident in her words.

Logan couldn't help but grin. "I want to show you just how good touch can be, darlin'."

Rogue nodded in response, unable to make herself utter a single word. His hands were on her dress then, his body nestled close behind her, as he slowly slid the zipper down her back, revealing the black slip underneath. Large hands moved to her shoulders and slid both of the silky fabrics down her arms, causing Rogue to shiver at the sweet sensation.

Hot breaths of air made the hair on her neck stand up and she grinned, a sensation somewhere between tickling and tingling that Rogue was sure she'd never felt before this moment.

"I…"

"Shhh…" he whispered, releasing his hold on the clothing, allowing it to fall at her feet. "It's okay, Marie," she heard muffled against her hair, the slight nuzzling making her forget whatever she had wanted to say. Without a moment of lost contact, Rogue felt Logan's hand sliding across her stomach to her side, finding a resting place at the small of her back as he now moved to stand in front of her.

Hazel eyes devoured the sight before him. Brunette tresses were slowly working their way loose of the bun that tried desperately to hold them hostage, while the stripes of white had already won the battle and hung loose around her face. Pale skin seemed an ideal contrast to the black lacy bra and panties that still adorned her perfect body. "Beautiful," he whispered, a smile shining on his face.

Rogue looked away, unable to take the gaze of the man before her, but immediately felt a finger under her chin, guiding her head upwards to look at him. "Listen to me," he told her, his voice soft, yet stern. "You. Are. Beautiful. Got it?"

"Got it," she told him shyly.

That infamous smirk was on his face again, and Marie felt her stomach tying in knots.

Offering his hand out to her, Logan waited with a breath he hadn't known he was holding, until Rogue filled the hollow space of his cupped hand with one of her own. When she did, he held still as she stepped out of the circle of clothing at her feet and followed him in silence to the large green wingback chair that sat by the bed. Motioning for her to sit, Rogue did as directed, while her brown eyes widened in simple curiosity.

Seconds later, Logan was seated in front of her on the matching ottoman. One large hand wrapped around her leg and lifted it to lie across his bent knee. Gently, letting her feel every sensation that occurred, Logan slipped the gray-black stiletto off her foot and let the shoe drop to the floor. Knowing fingers rubbed along her arch and Rogue decided right then that she had died and gone to Heaven. Sensing her bliss, Logan just grinned.

Minutes later, when Rogue wore the look of satisfaction, she watched with nervous delight as Logan leaned forward and ten slender fingers slowly, methodically, worked their way up her leg. Stopping several inches above her knee, Rogue forced herself to swallow as index fingers dipped inside her thigh high stockings and ever so lightly began to peel the nude colored nylon from her flesh, leaving a trail of freshly awakened skin in it's path.

Never letting his eyes move from hers, Logan set about removing both shoe and hose from her other long limb until her skin was bare.

"Ya didn't like them?" Rogue asked, a slight teasing to her voice.

"Like 'em better off of ya," he revealed, followed by a wink that made Rogue unwittingly bite her lip.

Logan leaned forward and placed a hand on her hips and motioned for her to stand. Now before him in nothing but a bra and underwear, Rogue felt the apprehension rising in the pit of her stomach. Never, even before her mutation, had she been so bare in front of anyone.

Logan, sensing her nervousness, looked up at her. "You wanna stop?"

"No," she blurted out, realizing she probably sounded a bit desperate. "I just… never… been like this in front of someone."

Understanding her anxiety, Logan nodded. Even in the months that led to this night, Rogue had never fully allowed herself to be so exposed in front of him. Sure, she'd run around in her little shorts or a towel when she'd gotten out of the shower, but this was different. Knowing that there was only two small, yet damn sexy, pieces of lace between him and all her glory, he suddenly seemed to realize just how much trust she was giving to him.

Logan moved to stand in front of her then. "Wanna even the field?"

Rogue's eyes lit up at the thought, nodding sheepishly.

"Yours for the takin'," he whispered into her ear.

Rogue smiled at the words. Before she had time to talk herself out of it, her hands were in a mad dash to unbutton his shirt. A light laugh echoed in the room as Logan covered her hands with his own. Delighted in the knowledge that she was as eager as he was, he wanted to let her continue, but also wanted to take it slow.

"No rush, darlin'," he told her, his voice suddenly hoarse and raspy. "I ain't goin' nowhere."

"Sorry," she mumbled as a pale blush rose to her cheeks.

"Don't be," Logan told her as he brought her hand to his lips, kissing her fingertips. "Wanna try again?"

Nervously, Rogue began again, this time, her movements slowed and savored. When she reached the last button above his trousers, she gave a smile as she tugged the fabric loose. Small hands worked their way back up his body, sliding the shirt off his shoulders in much the same fashion that he had done to her earlier. Logan's wife beater soon followed, with him coming to her aid when she couldn't reach to pull the fabric from his body without a little help.

Next, Logan watched as trembling hands fidgeted with his belt, finally feeling the leather loosen, Rogue pulled it loose and threw it haphazardly into the chair behind her. A flick of her wrist and the button to his trousers were undone. But, her attention moved back to his face, hands providing sweet agony as they moved back up his torso, palms flat again his body, as she massaged the tanned skin beneath her fingers.

A low, throaty growl made it's way from his lungs and Rogue gave a devilish grin. Her hands were on his face then, thumbs caressing his cheekbones as she stared intently into his eyes as tears filled her own.

"What is it?" he asked, a sudden fear creeping into his heart.

"Nothin'." She mumbled. "I… just love you."

"I just love you, too," Logan teased.

Soft lips were crashing against his before there was even time to think. She tasted the same way she smelled it seemed, a faint hint of vanilla and molasses. The sexiest combination he could ever think of.

Moments later, Logan was backing her toward the bed, the last of their clothing coming off with each step they took, stopping only when Rogue's legs pressed against the mattress behind her.

"Logan," she pleaded when he broke the kiss, his hand sliding to the back of her head and tugging at the contraption that bound her hair. Seconds later, the dam broke and waves of chestnut tresses came falling loose over her back and shoulders and Logan smiled as he let his fingers run down the length of one large section. Leaning in to her, he buried his face in her hair.

"You smell so damn good," he told her, before kissing her again, easing her back onto the bed, with him following close behind.

Once again his hands were on her and soon Rogue was following his example, taking pleasure in learning the unfamiliar parts of his body… the dips and curves, scars and sensitive spots, with Logan doing the same to her.

When their bodies could no longer take the sweet torture, Logan moved between her parted legs and gently began to caress her inner thighs, ever so slowly moving upwards, trying to gently ready Rogue for what would happen next.

Bending to kiss her, she could feel him pushing inside her, not enough to hurt, but enough to let her feel him, a sudden joining of their bodies that Rogue had been sure would never happen. Then, as his tongue invaded her mouth in a delicious assault, Rogue felt her last barrier break as Logan pushed inside her, and she moaned in both pain and pleasure at the feelings rushing through her body.

Logan wasted not time in stilling his movements, his hazel eyes staring down at her as if to beg her forgiveness. Pale, trembling hands came up to caress his back as she whispered, "It's okay," over and over again.

When Logan finally believed her and felt Rogue responding to his touches, he began once more to move inside her, reveling in the feel of her body beneath him. Instinctively, Rogue wrapped her long legs around Logan's body and joined him in the rhythmic pace he had set as long, deep, steady strokes stretched and filled her…

Without warning, Logan rose to bended knees and lifted Rogue to straddle him. Strong arms wrapped around her as she leaned back, bracing herself with flattened palms pressed into the mattress. Again and again, Logan slipped himself inside her as he listened to the sounds of pleasure that filled the room.

When Rogue finally whispered a breathy, "Please…" Logan hurried his movements. Feeling her fingers move to dig into his back, he knew that it wouldn't take much more to send either of them over the edge. So one last time, he pushed into her as he sank his teeth into the creamy flesh of her shoulder, sending them both into the welcoming arms of oblivion…

**: - - - : - - - - : - x - : - - - - : - - - :**

Hours later when their bodies were spent, Rogue lay on the bed as Logan scrounged the kitchen for leftovers. It was either that, or eat the snails, and that was not an option.

Scooting up in the bed, Rogue's eyes caught sight of a faded piece of paper sticking out from the trousers that still lie on the floor. Looking familiar, Rogue was to her feet before she even gave it thought.

Stepping to the garment, Rogue slipped the paper out of the pocket and moved to sit on the edge of the bed, flipping on the lamp that sat by the nightstand.

Swallowing hard, she unfolded the paper, recognizing the writing as her own.

Rogue:  
_-Adjective_  
_No longer obedient, belonging, or accepted and hence not controllable or answerable_

"I see you found it," came the voice from the door.

"Logan!" she said with a startle. "I didn't hear you come back."

"I see that," he told her as he closed the door with his foot, carrying the tray of food over and sitting it on the ottoman.

"Where did you find this?" Rogue asked, knowing there was no need in trying to deny that she'd seen it.

"The day you first came back to the mansion," he admitted as he sat down beside her. "You dropped it when you and Bobby were arguing."

"But…"

"You said you'd carried it with you every day since you left. So, I picked it up and started carrying it with me, trying to figure out a way to make you see that you weren't some damn word in a flippin' dictionary."

Rogue dropped her head.

"Guess I should have told you I had it, huh?"

Rogue looked up at him and tried to smile. "Nah. I don't need it anymore."

"Sure about that?"

"Why?" she asked, finding it odd that he would want her to have the note.

"You didn't look at the whole thing, did ya?" Logan asked, a slight grin on his face.

"I… well, you kinda came in and caught me. So, no…"

Logan eyed the note. "Have a look."

Suspicion shone in her brown eyes, but she did as directed. Looking down she saw that there was more writing that had been added to the list. Glancing at Logan, she asked, "What is this?"

"Thought I'd fill it out for you."

Her eyes immediately scanned the page. The first section seemed to be replies to her definition.

_No longer obedient-_ **Well, neither am I**  
_No longer belonging-_ **You belong with me**  
_No longer accepted-_ **I accept you**  
_Not controllable-_ **Who the hell wants to be controlled?**  
_Not answerable- _**You shouldn't have to answer to anyone… well, except maybe me**

Rogue grinned as she read his answers, feeling the tears as they slid down her cheeks. It wasn't long before she felt Logan's hands gently wiping them away.

"Hey, it wasn't meant to make you cry."

"I know," she told him. "I'm, just a ball of mush right now."

He gave a small laugh before telling her to read the rest. "There were a few things missing, so I added to it."

Again, Rogue looked at the paper and saw the new additions.

**Stubborn – Funny – Sassy – Sexy – Stubborn – Woman that I love**

"You put stubborn twice," she told him with a grin.

"Deserves to be on there twice," he told her in his cockiest voice. "And, I thought of another one I needed to put on there."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"What?"

"Nosy!"

Both laughed as Rogue punched him lightly in the arm.

"Stubborn, funny, sassy and sexy," Rogue repeated, unable to hide the grin on her face.

"You still forgot one," Logan told her.

Playing innocent, Rogue scratched her head. "What was that one again?"

With a smirk, Logan leaned over her and ran his hand across her cheek. "I think it was something like 'Woman that I love'."

"Oh yeah!" she teased. "That was it wasn't it?"

"Uh huh," he groaned as he began to feast upon her neck.

"What about…mmmmm… the foood… Logan?"

"Not hungry anymore," he said devilishly.

_"Stubborn, funny, sassy,"_ she replayed in her head as Logan tangled his hands in her hair.

_"Woman that he loves,"_ Rogue said to herself, a smile on her face. _"Yep,"_ she agreed as she let Logan's mouth claim hers. _"That's me all right."_

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… **THE END …**

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